


We Aren't The Cool Kids

by Mae (mae1505)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Multi, There is a plot I promise, but anyway i'll go now, groupchat fic, i promise they all end up dating someone, in their senior year, it's literally that simple, it's somewhere in there, kidding squips are cool, no squips because squips suck, plus i cant do it, they're all in a groupchat, wow i hate tagging, wow this is stupid i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-01-16 02:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18512029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mae1505/pseuds/Mae
Summary: JeremyisHeere : ihNerdandiknowit : ihBiguy : ihPresumptuousthot : ihLegallyblonde : ihDisgustingflirt : ihGossipgirl : ihDramaqueen : WHY ARE WE ALL SAYING IH?!This is just a dumb groupchat fic sorry





	1. michael is GAY?!!!

**Author's Note:**

> So I was bored... wanted to write a new fic... but not a serious one... and wanted to do a BMC fic... so here we are. Sorry. I promise there's a plot. For reference (though these will change):
> 
> Jeremy = JeremyisHeere  
> Michael = Nerdandiknowit  
> Christine = Dramaqueen  
> Jenna = Gossipgirl  
> Brooke = Legallyblonde  
> Chloe = Allhailthequeen  
> Jake = Bo$$  
> Rich = Biguy

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Tuesday - 2:09 am**

 

**Gossipgirl :** OMG GUYS YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST HEARD

 

**Biguy :** jenna it’s 2am what the fuck?

 

**Gossipgirl :** screw you rich 

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** why couldn’t this have waited till THE GODDAMN MORNING?

 

**Gossipgirl :** madelaine…

 

**Allhailthequeen :** what did that slut do now?

 

**Bo$$ :** holy shit where did she even come from?

 

**Dramaqueen :** it’s madelaine, why are you asking

 

**Gossipgirl:** so you know that fit new guy?

 

**Legallyblonde :** he’s not fit

 

**Allhailthequeen :** did she fuck him?

 

**Gossipgirl :** tried to. she was high as fuck! 

 

**Gossipgirl :** apparently she literally threw herself onto him

 

**Allhailthequeen :** holy shit! brooke tell everyone!

 

**JeremyisHeere :** can you guys do this on your gossip chat and let us SLEEP

 

**Dramaqueen :** they have a gossip chat?

 

**JeremyisHeere :** wait christine is on this chat?

 

**Biguy :** don’t make this awkward guys…

 

**Dramaqueen :** we broke up peacefully. and i didn’t even want to be on this chat

 

**Bo$$ :** i added her *wink wink*

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** GET AWAY FROM HERE WITH YOUR AWFUL FLIRTING

 

**\- Biguy has renamed “Bo$$” to “Disgustingflirt” -**

 

**Legallyblonde :** i don’t think jake and christine would work

 

**Allhailthequeen :** yeah because you like her

 

**Dramaqueen :** EXCUSE ME?!

 

**Legallyblonde :** CHLOE!

 

**JeremyisHeere :** wait brooke is lesbian?

 

**Legallyblonde :** JEREMY!

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** YAY I’M NOT THE ONLY GAY ON THIS CHAT

 

**Gossipgirl :** michael is GAY?!!!

 

**Disgustingflirt :** he’s dating rich

 

**Biguy :** What. The. Fuck.

 

**Biguy :** just because I’m bi doesn’t mean i like EVERY GAY GUY IN OUR SCHOOL

 

**JeremyisHeere :** michael is gay?

 

**Allhailthequeen :** wow you didn’t come out to your best friend? hah.

 

**\- Nerdandiknowit has renamed “Allhailthequeen” to “Presumptuousthot” -**

 

**Presumptuousthot :** thanks dick

 

**Dramaqueen :** this is too much. i’m going to sleep. fuck you all.

 

**Biguy :** i suggest we ALL DO THE SAME

 

**JeremyisHeere :** night night sleep tight

 

**Presumptuousthot :** great now there’s a serial killer on the chat

 

* * *

 

**JeremyisHeere > Nerdandiknowit**

**Tuesday - 2:34 am**

 

**JeremyisHeere :** michael?

 

**JeremyisHeere :** are you really gay?

 

**JeremyisHeere :** why didn’t you tell me?

 

**JeremyisHeere :** you don’t, like, like me? Do you?

 

* * *

 

**\- Nerdandiknowit has added “Dramaqueen”, “Legallyblonde, “Presumptuousthot” and “Gossipgirl” to : Helplessgay -**

 

**Helplessgay**

**Tuesday 3:00 am**

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** HELP GUYS HELP SERIOUSLY HEEELP

 

**Dramaqueen :** the fuck is it now?

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** JEREMY MESSAGED ME!!

 

**Presumptuousthot :** ha awkwaaard…

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** THIS ISN’T FUNNY CHLOE HELP ME

 

**Legallyblonde :** what did he say?

 

_ Photo.jpeg.holyshitwhatdoido _

 

**Gossipgirl:** what’s the problem? just say no

 

**Dramaqueen :** are you clueless?

 

**Gossipgirl :** wait…

 

**Gossipgirl :** OMG OMG OMGGGGGG!!

 

**Presumptuousthot:** fucking finally jenna

 

**Gossipgirl :** I CAN’T BELIEVE MICHAEL LIKES JEREMY

 

**Dramaqueen :** holy shit jenna *facepalm*

 

**Legallyblonde :** just tell him you don’t like straight guys

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** really?

 

**Dramaqueen :**  i really wanna sleep now. please just go away all of you.

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** ok ok i told him

 

_ Photo.jpeg.ithinkifixedtheproblem _

 

**Presumptuousthot :** wow. smooth

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** shut the fuckv up i’m panicking

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** jenna?

 

**Gossipgirl :** *pinkie swear* i’m not gonna tell anyone

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** do you really think he’s onto me?

 

**Dramaqueen :** MICHAEL SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO TO SLEEP

 

* * *

 

**Nerdandiknowit > JeremyisHeere**

**Tuesday 3:12 am**

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** no no noooo 

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** i don’t like you

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** no sirree

 

**JeremyisHeere :** ok. good. that would have been awkward.

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** i didn’t tell you first because it was harder and i felt awkward and i didn’t know how to tell you

 

**JeremyisHeere :** it’s fine lmao

 

**JeremyisHeere :** so who DO you like?

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** erm nobody

 

**JeremyisHeere :** how do you know you’re gay then?

 

**Nerdandiknowit :** because i look at a guy and think he’s hot i’d kiss him and then i look at a girl and i think oh it’s a girl

 

**JeremyisHeere :** i think that might be the best definition of gay out there


	2. I panicked! I'm sorry!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerdandiknowit : Guys I fucked up
> 
> Theonlyculturedonehere : He really fucked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter is literally my mood writing this story

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Tuesday 5:34 pm**

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** ih

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** ih

 

 **Biguy :** ih

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** ih

 

 **Legallyblonde :** ih

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** ih

 

 **Gossipgirl :** ih

 

 **Dramaqueen :** WHY ARE WE ALL SAYING IH?!

 

**\- Nerdandiknowit has renamed “Dramaqueen” to “Theonlyculturedonehere” -**

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** guys i’m depressed

 

 **Biguy :** a tragedy has struck our nation.

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** rich i’m gonna go out on a record here and say you’re like the worst best friend ever

 

 **Biguy :** i just don’t care about jakes dating dilemma

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** and don’t insult my best friend like that

 

**\- Presumptuousthot has renamed “Biguy” to “Mybibestfriend” -**

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** hah

 

 **Mybibestfriend :** this is ridiculous

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** what’s the problemo jake?

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** he’s single

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** back away bitch i like being single don't you try and hook up with me again

 

* * *

 

**Disgustingflirt > Presumptuousthot**

**Tuesday 7:56 pm**

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** yes

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** i didnt even get to ask you

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** well now we’re dating. cool?

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** fine by me babe

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Wednesday 12:01 pm**

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** guys check this out

 

_Photo.jpeg.thesupplyteacherhasfallen_

 

 **Legallyblonde :** I love our history class

 

 **Gossipgirl :** I’m in phys ed

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** then how the fuck are you on your phone?

 

 **Gossipgirl :** i said i had cramps

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** wow

 

 **Mybibestfriend :** hey guys guess what

 

 **Gossipgirl :** chloe and jake are dating

 

_Photo.jpeg.shook_

 

 **Legallyblonde :** i’m screenshotting that

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** be my guest

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** we are on this chat you know

 

 **Legallyblonde :** but ur in a math test?

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** yeah but the math test has fallen

 

_photo.jpeg.MrsNeversmithpukedhergutsout_

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** thats just gross

 

 **Gossipgirl :** sorry chloe

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** but seriously, raise a hand if you’re not surprised

 

_Photo.jpeg.notsurprised_

_Photo.jpeg.joiningyouinthat_

_Photo.jpeg.iwastheonewhotoldjaketoaskherout_

_Photo.jpeg.everyoneslookingatmeweird_

_Photo.jpeg.raiseyourrightfinger_

_Photo.jpeg.whocouldpossiblybeshook_

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** you are all children

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** at least we won’t be having jakes children

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** *silence descends upon the chat*

 

 **Legallyblonde :** please god send me some holy water to wash this image from my brain

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** i hate all of you

 

* * *

 

**Helplessgay**

**Wednesday 4:22 pm**

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** guys i fucked up

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** he really fucked up

 

 **Legallyblonde :** what happened?

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** i told jeremy i had a crush

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** like a gay crush

 

 **Gossipgirl :** fukc who did you tell him it was

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** fukc

 

 **Gossipgirl :** shut your own fukc Christine

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** he said it was Dustin

 

 **Legallyblonde :** WHAT

 

 **Gossipgirl :** fucking hell michael, why!?

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** i panicked! im sorry!

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** well now youre gonna have to fix it because jeremy shipped you guys

 

 **Gossipgirl :** its ok man, i got you

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** oh you are not going to

 

 **Legallyblonde :** fuck me jenna

 

 **Legallyblonde :** wait no

 

**\- Presumptuousthot has renamed “Legallyblonde” to “Confirmedlesbian” -**

 

 **Confirmedlesbian :** well what if i was?

 

 **Gossipgirl :** boom!

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** youre dating him?

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** i don't see how this helps

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** jenna is just thirsty for dustin

 

 **Gossipgirl :** please god no

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** now hes confirmed straight so i can be heartbroken

 

 **Nerdandiknowit :** but then “get over him”

 

**\- Nerdandiknowit has renamed “Gossipgirl” to “Gaysaviour” -**

 

**\- Gaysaviour has renamed “Nerdandiknowit” to “Hopelesslyinlove” -**

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Thursday 1:17 am**

 

 **Gaysaviour :** i am bored

 

_Photo.jpeg.thisisboredom_

 

 **Hopelesslyinlove :** you disturb me

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** i still cant get over the dustin thing

 

 **Confirmedlesbian :** jenna is disgusting for dating that stoner

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** and so is michael for liking him *doesnt actually ship*

 

 **Hopelesslyinlove :** HEY!

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** oh i didnt realise that was you michael

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** im crying

 

_Photo.jpeg.thedarkestmindsgotmesobbing_

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** CAN WE FUCKING SLEEP ALREADY

 

 **Mybibestfriend :** guys is earth the perfect planet for human life?

 

 **Gaysaviour :** no not this again

 

 **JeremyisHeere :** NO!

 

 **Mybibestfriend :** YES!

 

 **Confirmedlesbian :** what the fuck is going on?

 

**\-  Mybibestfriend has renamed “JeremyisHeere” to “Unculturedswine” -**

 

**\- Unculturedswine has renamed “Mybibestfriend” to “Thickheadcocksucker” -**

 

 **Thickheadcocksucker :** thats below the belt

 

 **Thickheadcocksucker :** WAIT NO

 

 **Gaysaviour :** oh lawd im cryiing

 

 **Theonlyculturedonehere :** cryiing

 

 **Gaysaviour :** I SWEAR TO HIGH HEAVEN CHRISTINE I WILL JUMP THROUGH YOUR WINDOW WITH AN AXE

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** the serial killer count on this chat is now up to 2

 

 **Thickheadcocksucker :** why did you call me this Jeremy

 

 **Confirmedlesbian :** i like it

 

 **Hopelesslyinlove :** it adds flavor

 

 **Unculturedswine :** what the fuck michael?

 

 **Disgustingflirt :** ive just logged on and now im disturbed and scarred for the rest of my life

 

 **Presumptuousthot :** welcome to our lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed my hopelessness, and I have no idea when I'm gonna publish a new chapter, since I'm juggling this between my Heathers fic (totally not promoting My 11th High School, no totally not telling you to go read that), but until then...
> 
> See ya  
> Mae xoxo


	3. Lets Get Them DATING

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexweb : holy shit you reckon youre bi?
> 
> Unculturedswine : no i just know im slightly in love with michael and have been for about three years
> 
> Sexweb : the
> 
> Sexweb : fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy everybody sorry for the late chapter, i know i replied to a couple of your comments saying it would be here by Thursday or Friday but i was delayed by a skills weekend for this stupid award im doing that ended with me cooking fucking pasta on a barely-hot portable stove at 9:30 at night on my school field so yeahhh im glad to be home. hope you enjoy the new chapter of my shittiness!

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Thursday 4:30 pm**

 

**Disgustingflirt :** HELPPPPPPP

 

**Presumptuousthot :** what’s wrong bby?

 

_ Photo.jpeg.whatthefuckkindofmonstersetsthisashomework _

 

**Hopelesslyinlove :** cross multiply

 

**Disgustingflirt :** what the fuck does that mean

 

**Hopelesslyinlove :** bitch you were IN THE LESSON

 

**Disgustingflirt :** fuck off michael

 

**\- Confirmedlesbian has renamed “Disgustingflirt” to “Selfproclaimeddouche” -**

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** he was HELPING YOU

 

**Gaysaviour :** ChLOe PiCK UPPPPP

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** just spill the tea here sis

 

**Thickheadcocksucker :** GUYS SOMEBODY TURNED CHRISTINE INTO A TEENAGE GIRL

 

**Unculturedswine :** SOMEONE BRING BACK MY POSH BITCH RIGHT NOW

 

_ Photo.jpeg.A!STATE!OF!EMERGENCY! _

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** people keep making michael shocked im gonna get SO many mugshots

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** technically they’re not mugshots

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** living up to your name aren’t you christine

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** you’d know about that wouldn’t you bitch

 

**Presumptuousthot :** *senses flirting*

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** excuse me chloe i’m just obeying the name you gave me

 

* * *

 

**Presumptuousthot > Confirmedlesbian**

**Thursday 5:49 pm**

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** you’re epically failed in your role as best friend

 

**\- Confirmedlesbian has renamed “Presumptuousthot” to “Worstbestfriend” -**

 

**Worstbestfriend :** kghujvk

 

**Worstbestfriend :** im shook

 

**Worstbestfriend :** all that stuff about you flirting and you being a lesbian, I thought you were JOKING!

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** *hits you with a table*

 

**Worstbestfriend :** wait so did you never like jeremy? or are you bi? 

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** nah i never really liked jeremy, but he was cute and i was confused

 

**Worstbestfriend :** i still cant believe you like CHRISTINE!??

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** *once again grabs the table*

 

**Worstbestfriend :** you guys would be cute together

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** fuck no no no chloe

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** don't you DARE!

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** CHLOE IF YOU TEXT HER I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SLOWLY RIP YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB!

 

**Worstbestfriend :** calm it kermit, i wont tell anyone

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** not even jenna?

 

**Worstbestfriend :** especially not jenna *pinkie swear*

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** *our pinkies have locked*

 

* * *

 

**We’re Not The Cool Kids**

**Friday 2:24 am**

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** what nightmare world do we live in

 

_ Photo.jpeg.therearetwospidersmatingovermyhead _

 

**Thickheadcocksucker :** youre interrupting a spider makeout session right now brooke

 

**Gaysaviour :** the fact you took a picture though

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** cant believe im losing sleep over spider sex

 

_ Photo.jpeg.nicesexpleaseleavenow _

 

**Unculturedswine :** brooke nothing can interrupt spider sex

 

**Hopelesslyinlove :** *attenborough voice* and now the male spider looks down from the underside of its wife’s vagina and sees your face, with your mouth open in shock.

 

**Hopelesslyinlove :** however, spider sex cannot be disturbed, so the male spider activates its defense mechanism

 

**Hopelesslyinlove :** it cums in your mouth

 

**Worstbestfriend :** what.the.actual.fuck

 

**\- Selfproclaimeddouche has renamed “Hopelesslyinlove” to “Spidersexfreak” -**

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** i was so happy sleeping, i thought i was safe from you freaky fucks

 

_ Photo.jpeg.errtheyregoneWHATTHEFUCKDOIDO _

 

**Gaysaviour :** honey its fine

 

**Unculturedswine :** your room will just be filled with thousands of spider babies in a few months

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

_ Photo.jpeg.searching _

_ Photo.jpeg.imnevergonnafindthem _

_ Photo.jpeg.itshopeless _

_ Photo.jpeg.imdestroyingtheirhome _

 

**Confirmedlesbian :** REVENGE BITCHHHHH

 

**\- Worstbestfriend has renamed “Confirmedlesbian” to “Killerofspiders” -**

 

**Unculturedswine :** i thought spiders remade their webs every day?

 

**Spidersexfreak :** yh most spiders rebuild their web each night

 

**Selfproclaimeddouche :** you just destroyed their sex web

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** does the world just not want me to sleep or something

 

**Thickheadcocksucker :** i need a sex web

 

**Thickheadcocksucker :** wait what

 

**\- Gaysaviour has renamed “Thickheadcocksucker” to “Sexweb” -**

 

**Sexweb :** at last, i have reached my true form 

 

**Killerofspiders :** maybe i can crush them?

 

_ Photo.jpeg.therewego _

 

**Worstbestfriend :** you dropped a book

 

**Sexweb :** on the floor

 

**Spidersexfreak :** the spiders weren’t even on the floor probably

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** i wish i could just be asleep

 

**Gaysaviour :** they were probably up a wall

 

**Selfproclaimeddouche :** having sex

 

**Unculturedswine :** making more babies

 

**Killerofspiders :** oh ma god nooo stop

 

**Gaysaviour :** youll be the babysitter to all the little spiders

 

**Spidersexfreak :** you can name them all!

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** CHRIST SHOULD I TELL YOU WHAT WE ALL CAN DO! SLEEEEEP!

 

**Theonlyculturedonehere :** BECAUSE SOMEBODY (FUCK YOU JENNA) LOCKED MY RINGTONE TO THE LOUDEST SOUND EVER AND SOMEBODY ELSE (FUCK YOU MICHAEL) DISABLED MY MUTE BUTTON SO IM STUCK LISTENING TO ALL THIS!!!!!!!

 

**\- Unculturedswine has renamed “Theonlyculturedonehere” to “Sirsleepsalot” -**

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** THAT WAS NOT THE CORRECT RESPONSE TO WHAT I JUST SAID

 

**Sexweb :** im dying of laughter and its like past midnight

 

**Worstbestfriend :** cant tell the time?

 

**Sexweb :** oh shut the fuck uuuuuup

 

* * *

 

**Unculturedswine > Sexweb**

**Friday 3:04 am**

 

**Unculturedswine :** rich?

 

**Unculturedswine :** i need your help

 

**Sexweb :** whats up my man

 

**Unculturedswine :** i don't really know how to say this…

 

**Sexweb :** if youre about to say you like me im gonna hurl

 

**Unculturedswine :** no no no 

 

**Unculturedswine :** i don't like you…

 

**Sexweb :** holy shit you reckon youre bi?

 

**Unculturedswine :** no i just know im slightly in love with michael and have been for about three years

 

**Sexweb :** the

 

**Sexweb :** fuck

 

**Unculturedswine :** please don't tell anyone

 

**Sexweb :** my lips are sealed mate

 

* * *

 

**\- Sexweb has added “Sirsleepsalot”, “Gaysaviour”, “Worstbestfriend”, “Selfproclaimeddouche” and “Killerofspiders” to “Let Get Them DATING”**

 

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 3:44 pm**

 

_ Photo.jpeg.ohmygodyouguysyouguys _

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

 

**Killerofspiders :** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Worstbestfriend :** SHOOK

 

**Selfproclaimeddouche :** no SHIIIIIT

 

**Gaysaviour :** OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

 

_ Photo.jpeg.hellofromtheotherside _

_ Photo.jpeg.wegotawholechatbiiiitch _

_ Photo.jpeg.guesswhaaaaat _

_ Photo.jpeg.weweretoldtoshutthefuckup _

 

**Selfproclaimeddouche :** im feeling left out

 

**Sexweb :** are any of us surprised?

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** no and i dated him

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** im not even mad i got woke up for thiis

 

**Worstbestfriend :** ok so wait wait what does this mean

 

**Gaysaviour :** if they don't date im going to hang myself

 

**Sexweb :** quick i better change the chat name somebody grab jenna a rope

 

**Gaysaviour :** dick

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** err brooke why you been typing for so long?

 

**Killerofspiders :** so they like each other. THEY HAVE TO DATE! And here is what were gonna do:

  1. first we have to throw a party and get jeremy like totally stone drunk
  2. now we could have jeremy drunktext michael and reveal everything but thats overrated and been done beforeee
  3. so weee are going to pull one better
  4. we arent inviting michael to our party 
  5. we are just gonna get jeremy drunk and then drop him off at michaels door



 

**Killerofspiders :** now hang on so i can type the next part of the plan

 

**Worstbestfriend :** hold your horses brooke my love thats possibly the shittiest plan ive ever heard

 

**Sirsleepsalot :** now hang on a mo its an alright plan

 

**Selfproclaimeddouche :** shut your fuck that plan is bullshit

 

**Gaysaviour :** i have an idea

 

**Sexweb :** lets just keep this to ourselves until an opportunity presents itself okay guys

 

**Worstbestfriend :** how long did it take you to type all that out?

  
**Sexweb :** fuck ooooooooff chloe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so err that sucked. sorry. but YAY JEREMY AND MICHAEL ARE IN LOVE SORT OF OK SO THEYRE BOTH CRUSHING BUT SHADDUP DONT RUIN THE MOMENT!!! until the next chapter guys!
> 
> xoxo


	4. Well You're Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you. Don't want to but I can’t put nobody else above you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACCCCC YAYYY!! And holding chocolate so I'm happy. This chapter came around because I'm meant to be researching Romeo and Juliet but I wanted to write instead, so here we are! 
> 
> I've also gifted this chapter a song because I'm extra like that, it doesn't quite fit at some parts but I like it and if you read the chapter summary you should recognise it; hate u love u by Olivia O'Brian so good go listen!
> 
> Name reminders:   
>  \- jeremy = Unculturedswine  
>  \- michael = Spidersexfreak  
>  \- christine = Sirsleepsalot  
>  \- chloe = Worstbestfriend  
>  \- brooke = Killerofspiders  
>  \- jenna = Gaysaviour  
>  \- jake = Selfproclaimeddouche  
>  \- rich = Sexweb

**Let’s get them DATING**

**Friday 5:45 pm**

 

 **Killerofspiders :** please tell me you saw that rich?

 

 **Killerofspiders :** and jenna

 

 **Gaysaviour :** i was crying

 

 **Sexweb :** hopelessly devoted to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** was that a Grease reference?

 

 **Sexweb :** don't act like im an uncultured bi douchebag

 

 **Sexweb :** im just a bi douchebag

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** wait wait spill the tea sister

 

**\- Killerofspiders started a group voice call -**

 

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _i cba to talk to you via text_

 **_Selfproclaimeddouche -_ ** _well tell us then_

 **_Gaysaviour -_ ** _you know that party at madelines_

 **_Worstbestfriend -_ ** _im only going to own her ass and rock it with my baby_

 **_Selfproclaimeddouche -_ ** _dont you kn-_

 **_Sirsleepsalot -_ ** _finish that sentence ill shoot you bitch_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _anyway madeline has her rules_

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _im so pissed about that cause now i cant go_

 **_Sirsleepsalot -_ ** _hey i cant go you can come watch a movie at my house_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _oh yeah im coming_

 **_Worstbestfriend -_ ** _babe her rules are couples only_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _yeah im dating nico_

 **_Gaysaviour -_ ** _woah woah hot sandwich guy_

 **_Selfproclaimeddouche -_ ** _nice one mate_

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _hes hot and hes GAY nice steal rich_

 **_Worstbestfriend -_ ** _since when_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _couple weeks its going pretty good_

 **_Sirsleepsalot -_ ** _thats great rich so happy but what happened_

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _ok so madeline announces in the corridor that everybody in the school is invited_

 **_Gaysaviour -_ ** _but theres a catch cause its madeline and shes a drama queen_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _obvs youve got to be a couple_

 **_Gaysaviour -_ ** _but she needs PROOF_

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _so you have to get this KISS on the freaking doorstep_

 **_Gaysaviour -_ ** _no joke but michael and jeremy were there just standing in the hall_

 **_Killerofspiders -_ ** _so jeremy turns to michael and goes wow thats fucked before turning away_

 **_Sexweb -_ ** _and michael goes bright red and stares after jeremy like so hopelessly_

 **_Worstbestfriend -_ ** _awwww thats so cute_

 **_Selfproclaimeddouche -_ ** _yeah thats great im hanging up my parents are home_

 

**\- Voice call ended -**

 

 **Selfproclaimeddouche :** i didnt mean end the whole call

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** i hated speaking anyway

 

**\- Gaysaviour has renamed “Selfproclaimeddouche” to “Socialcontactdestroyer” -**

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** jenna is this the start of a terrifying plan

 

 **Gaysaviour :**  i have no idea what you’re talking about chloe

 

 **Killerofspiders :** hey! so her plan is terrifying but mine just straight-up sucks?

 

 **Sexweb :** uhhhh yes

 

* * *

 

**The Tea Sis**

**Friday 7:03 pm**

 

 **Killerofspiders :** jenna you have to promise me

 

 **Gaysaviour :** ok ok i have promised my silence now what is it

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** prepare for the shook

 

 **Gaysaviour :** your grammar astounds me

 

 **Gaysaviour :** jesus why is she taking so long

 

 **Killerofspiders :**  i cant quite believe im telling you this but chloe already knows so i feel slightly more comfortable about it don’t take offence oh lawd this is hard ok ok ok I’m ready uuuuuuuuh

 

 **Gaysaviour :** BITCH SPIT IT OUT OH MY GOD

 

 **Killerofspiders :** i. am. in. love. with

 

 **Gaysaviour :** woooooooooah whaaaaaatt

 

 **Gaysaviour :** YOURE KILLING ME HOE

 

**\- Worstbestfriend has renamed “Gaysaviour” to “Killedbysilence” -**

 

**\- Killedbysilence has renamed “Killerofspiders” to “Bubblegumhoe” -**

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** where the fuck did bubblegum come from

 

 **Bubblegumhoe :** christine. i think, no, i know, that im in love with christine and what do i do oh fuckkkkkk

 

 **Killedbysilence :**  hold

 

 **Killedbysilence :** the

 

 **Killedbysilence :** phone

 

 **Killedbysilence :** youre a lesbian? you? really? no, no, wait, im so confused what the fuck

 

**\- Killedbysilence has renamed “Bubblegumhoe” to “Confusinghoe” -**

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** at least that makes more sense than bubblegum

 

 **Confusinghoe :** its why im freakin about the party cause i don't wanna go with anyone else

 

_Photo.jpeg.sistergotyaback_

 

 **Confusinghoe :** WAIT NO NO NO JENNA YOU BITCH DONT YOU DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER

 

_Photo.jpeg.couldyouchillplease_

 

 **Confusinghoe :** @Killedbysilence im coming to your house with an axe

 

_Photo.jpeg.imnotkiddingjenna_

 

 **Killedbysilence :** shit hold on brooke

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** brooke wtf you actually left the house

 

_Photo.jpeg.imoutsideyourhouse_

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** well youre fucked

 

* * *

 

_Jenna ran downstairs and threw open the front door. Her parents didn’t hear, they rarely heard or cared unless they were actually interested. And they weren’t interested by their daughter._

_Sure enough, Brooke was standing in the semi-darkness in slippers and a dressing gown._

_“Holy shit! What the hell are you doing Brooke?” Jenna stared at the blonde girl, shivering but pissed, and after a moment added “Please don’t tell me you actually brought an axe.”_

_“This isn’t funny Jenna,” Brooke hissed. She could still feel her heart racing, it hadn’t stopped since she’d seen the message Jenna had sent to Christine 20 minutes earlier._

 

 **‘Killedbysilence :** hey christine who you going with to madelines party, cause i know somebody that might be interested’

 

_Maybe she was overreacting, after all, Jenna hadn’t ever said a name, but still. She shouldn’t have done that._

_Brooke knew why Jenna did what she did. She knew how shit her life was, how little her parents cared, and how Jenna collected secret after secret in the hopes they would finally be interested and pay attention. It was why she’d befriended her, Brooke had thought she could help._

_But this was_ **_Brooke’s_ ** _secret. Jenna was meant to be her second-best-friend, Chloe came first obviously, and it was what she’d hid for so long._

_Nobody could know she was in love with Christine. Nobody. It would ruin everything, the image she’d spent so many years perfecting; the popular, pretty blonde who was nice to everyone and had the life everybody wanted._

_Brooke wasn’t going to kid anybody, she did have a good life. Pretty, popular, lots of real friends, something she hadn’t had for a long time. She was smart, getting good grades, very much in line for college._

_And her life was even better now. After so many years of hiding in Chloe’s shadow, being the beta, never letting herself free, craving approval, she’d finally learned to just accept herself. And she loved it._

_But then she’d realised._

_It was the little things. The way Christine laughed until she couldn’t anymore because she literally had a stitch, her passion for drama, the way she danced like nobody else was there._

_Brooke was in love with her. And she didn’t know what to do about it._

_“Calm down girl, I’m not going to tell Christine you’re totes head-over-heels for her.” Jenna smirked and showed Brooke the rest of the conversation._

 

* * *

 

**Killedbysilence > Sirsleepsalot**

**Friday 7:13 pm**

 

 **Killedbysilence :** hey christine who you going with to madelines party, cause i know somebody that might be interested

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** if you say jake ima hurl

 

 **Killedbysilence :** no god no

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** are you gonna tell me who it is?

 

 **Killedbysilence :** no…

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** then i have no care

 

 **Killedbysilence :** great english there christine

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** jenna why tf would i ever go to a party?

 

 **Killedbysilence :** no you have to go!

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** uh why

 

 **Killedbysilence :** look ill talk later cause brooke is here now find me monday

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** brookes at your house now?

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** jenna?

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** whats going on?

 

* * *

 

_Brooke stared at the phone for a few seconds, then burst into laughter and wrapped Jenna into her hug. “Woah, woah ok!” Jenna gripped her phone and hugged Brooke back_

_“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.” Brooke pulled away from the hug and Jenna smirked again. “It’s fine Brooke, just remember I got ya back.” Jenna turned and was walking back to her front door when Brooke spoke up again._

_“This isn’t going to turn into some horrible plan of yours is it?”_

_Jenna turned back to her friend and tapped her index finger to her nose. “I can’t promise anything honey.”_

_Brooke smiled as Jenna went back inside and headed home. She was ok, they were ok, her heart wasn’t racing anymore, and as she tilted her face up to the sky, the night just seemed full of possibilities._

 

* * *

 

**Sirsleepsalot > Worstbestfriend **

**Friday 9:25 pm**

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** chloe don't ignore me

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** bitch what is it

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** who likes me?

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** fucc what do you know

 

 **Sirsleepsalot :** I DONT KNOW ANYTHING JENNA LEFT ME ON READ ITS WHY IM FUCKING MESSAGING YOU

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** oh

 

 **Worstbestfriend :** then its nothing goodbye

 

* * *

 

_Christine stared at the words on her laptop screen._

_‘It’s nothing goodbye’_

_What was going on? What were they all hiding? She should message Brooke -_

_Except she couldn’t message Brooke, she could never message Brooke…_

_Christine sighed, switched off her laptop and reached for her phone. Not caring whether anybody was still awake, she pressed play._

_I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you. Don’t want to but I can’t put nobody else above you..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aren't they hopeless and adorable? I actually loved writing this chapter I think it might be my favourite so far, switching to real life was a challenge but it's a lot of fun and makes this fic a little more familiar to write because that's the style I use. 
> 
> What did everybody think of the new album recording? Personally I love them all except Jason Tam, idk he just doesn't seem right and I don't really like his voice at some parts, but it's all amazing! The new songs are greattttt and the added dialogue is just YAY! ooooh speaking of A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into reprise is playing oh nope its over now we're got Alexander Hamilton. Anywayyy
> 
> I'm sorry for the lack of stupid idiotic texting in this chapter (if thats what you read this for) but there will be more to come I promise...
> 
> Until next time!  
> Mae <3


	5. s i s t e r  s h o o k

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'PedophileParis : why am i a pedophile
> 
> LovelylittleJuliet : juliet was 13, paris was around 25
> 
> PedofileParis : fuck. im a nonce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy everybody. Currently, I am in school eating, and my best friend is right next to me dying over idiotic and disturbing fanfiction (raise a hand if you've heard of My Immortal) so I thought why the hell not and finished this chapter. Warning: this chapter contains a LOT of references to Romeo and Juliet (we're studying the play as of a few weeks ago), so sorry to everyone who doesn't know the play that well. All you need to know is I think the thing pretty much everyone knows; Romeo and Juliet are in love. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

**Killedbysilence > Worstbestfriend **

**Friday 10:14 pm**

**Worstbestfriend :** i know what you’re about to send me so let me say this first : brooke’s life is her business jenna

**Killedbysilence :** i was gonna ask if you’d done the biology homework…

**Worstbestfriend :** im chloe what do you think

**Killedbysilence :** brooke is kinda sad though, like, all the time

**Worstbestfriend :** i know but what can we do

**Killedbysilence :** i guess we just have to let her be

 

* * *

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Sunday 12:30 pm**

**Sirsleepsalot :** im telling you, this years play is a disgrace

**Socialcontactdestroyer :** i like it

**Sirsleepsalot :** romeo and juliet, yes, i totally agree

**Sirsleepsalot :** BUT A MODERN VERSION SET IN THE CIRCUS?!!

**Unculturedswine :** i mean its interesting

**Confusinghoe :** who are you auditioning for christine?

**Sirsleepsalot :** i think juliet

**Worstbestfriend :** im auditioning for mercutio

**\- Sirsleepsalot has renamed “Worstbestfriend” to “BadassMercutio” -**

**\- Sirsleepsalot has renamed “Sirsleepsalot” to “LovelylittleJuliet” -**

**LovelylittleJuliet :** what else?

**Killedbysilence :** this is dumb

**Unculturedswine :** paris

**Spidersexfreak :** benvolio

**\- LovelylittleJuliet has renamed “Unculturedswine” and “Spidersexfreak” to “PedophileParis” and “PeaceobsessedBenvolio” -**

**PedofileParis :** why am i a pedophile

**LovelylittleJuliet :** juliet was 13, paris was around 25

**PedophileParis :** fuck. im a nonce

**Socialcontactdestroyer :** tybalt

**Sexweb :** the friar guy

**\- LovelylittleJuliet has renamed “Socialcontactdestroyer” and “Sexweb” to “FightylittleTybalt” and “FatwiseFriar” -**

**Confusinghoe :** romeo and don't laugh theres a reason behind it

**FatwiseFriar :** is he gonna let you do that?

**PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** i mean he said he wanted diversity

**\- LovelylittleJuliet has renamed “Confusinghoe” to “RomanticRomeo” -**

**Killedbysilence :** if youre curious, im going for nurse

**\- LovelylittleJuliet has renamed “Killedbysilence” to “NicebutbitchyNurse” -**

**RomanticRomeo :** i literally cant wait for monday

**NicebutbitchyNurse :** wait why am i bitchy

**LovelylittleJuliet :** have any of you researched the play

_Photo.jpeg.shrugs_

_Photo.jpeg.imeanyourethetheatrenerd_

_Photo.jpeg.dontexposemelikethat_

_Photo.jpeg.socialsuicide_

_Photo.jpeg.herewegobrookeanothermugshotforya_

_Photo.jpe.teasis_

_Photo.jpeg.ipromiseitried_

**LovelylittleJuliet :** jesus christ fine

**LovelylittleJuliet :** romeo is romantic but at the start of the play very depressed cause he loves this girl that apsires to be a nun for some reason. he forgets about her when he sees juliet and yeah. hes also very rash with his decisions.

**RomanticRomeo :** well i sound like me to be honest with ya

**LovelylittleJuliet :** benvolio is romeos best friend and unlike most of the other young montagues he just wishes everyone would stop fighting, so he tries everything to keep the peace. pretty romantic guy too.

**PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** but does he like video games, thats the question

**LovelylittleJuliet :** mercutio is very much a man whore, organizing parties and liking women. hes romeos cousin but also a wise person, his famous line when he dies is ‘a plague on both your houses’, he recognises how stupid all the fighting is.

**BadassMercutio :** well now i can just use going to parties as RESEARCH

**LovelylittleJuliet :** tybalt is an aggressive dickhead. he tries to fight every montague he sees and i don't think theres a scene in the play where hes actually calm. juliets cousin.

**FightylittleTybalt :** living up to my name more like

**LovelylittleJuliet :** the friar takes no part in the fighting and will help everyone though is more closely linked to the house of capulet. it is he who comes up with the plan for romeo and juliet and he who explains their deaths to the families.

**FatwiseFriar :** but why am i fat? does the work of a priest not allow time for gym sessions?

**LovelylittleJuliet :** the nurse is the messenger between romeo and juliet and is also juliets closest friend. but when the nurse turns on romeo juliet shuts her out of her life completely.

**NicebutbitchyNurse :** b i t c h y

**LovelylittleJuliet :** paris is a rich suitor and to his credit is in love with juliet, but he is also the one that convinces juliets father to marry her off when juliets dad wants to wait another couple of years. he also doesnt really see juliet for herself, only as a beautiful bride.

**PedophileParis :** well its nice to know im playing the role of a THOT

* * *

**BadassMercutio > NicebutbitchyNurse **

**Sunday 1:44 pm**

**BadassMercutio :** oh that was

**NicebutbitchyNurse :** s i s t e r  s h o o k

**BadassMercutio :** i cant believe she did that

**NicebutbitchyNurse :** i don't even know what to feel. proud?

**BadassMercutio :** it was clever

**NicebutbitchyNurse :** good going brooke, good going

 

* * *

**LovelylittleJuliet > RomanticRomeo**

**Sunday 2:02 pm**

**  
**LovelylittleJuliet :** hey brooke? **

**RomanticRomeo :** oh hi christine whats up

**LovelylittleJuliet :** mr reyes sent me the audition scene for romeo and juliet…

_Photo.jpeg.thebalconyscene_

**RomanticRomeo :** ooh i know that scene!

**LovelylittleJuliet :** ha lol! But since we have to do it in pairs, and we get to pick, i just wanted to ask, would you be my partner?

**RomanticRomeo :** hell yeah im not worried anymore lmao this is gonna be so fun

**LovelylittleJuliet :** do you know the lines

**RomanticRomeo :** errr ‘romeo romeo wherefore art thou romeo’?

**LovelylittleJuliet :** thats my line…

**RomanticRomeo :** fuck fuck help me

**LovelylittleJuliet :** its ok, do you wanna maybe come over later? we can rehearse and all that

**RomanticRomeo :** fuck yes id love to. youre honestly a lifesaver christine ily thank you so much!

**LovelylittleJuliet :** its no big deal i really do want this role, wanna come over in like half an hour?

  
**RomanticRomeo :** sounds great, i know where you live (in a not-creepy way) so ill be there! _  
_

 

* * *

 

 

_Brooke could kick herself! God, she’d been such an idiot, and now christine basically knew she hadn’t researched the play at all. She had tried, but it just wasn’t her thing. And now she was auditioning for what was basically the title character!_

_And then there was the whole business of being Romeo. To Christine’s Juliet. Oh god what was she thinking. And that was the problem, she wasn’t thinking. Truth be told, she hadn’t really wanted to even audition._

_But this was her chance…_

_And she wasn’t gonna scare Christine off or repel her. She wouldn’t focus on the fact that there was a KISS scene or that she was in love with Juliet both in real life and the play. She’d just enjoy hanging out with Christine, keeping it cool for as long as she could…_

_Christine was actually going to jump out of her window. Oh lord she’d been so fucking cringe, seriously; ‘ha lol!’Brooke probably thought she was such a geek._

_A year ago, Brooke wouldn’t have even known Christine had even existed. And now that was different, and Christine didn’t want to be the outsider any more._

_She wanted to get off the stage and be the main role and in her life, not somebody else’s._

_So she wouldn’t mess this up. She wouldn’t make Brooke scared. She wouldn’t be the nerdy best friend who you’re only with out of pity._

_Brooke promised herself she would build up hers and Christine's relationship._

_Christine promised herself she would make this night perfect._

 

* * *

 

 

**The Tea Sis**

**Sunday 9:39 pm**

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** i have been blessed by the heavens

 

 **BadassMercutio :** erm

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** christine left an hour ago and i’m still lying on my bed smiling

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** WAIT WHAAAAAAT

 

 **RomanticRomeo:** we did a line-learning session for auditions

 

 **BadassMercutio :** oh

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** my

 

 **BadassMercutio :** god

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** I! AM! IN! LOVE!

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse:** well we already KNEW THAT?!!

 

 **BadassMercutio :** girl how did it GO

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** oh sorry i can’t talk

 

 **BadassMercutio :** WHAT HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO US!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** gotta learn these lines it went great i cant let the woman i love down

  
**NicebutbitchyNurse :** i hate you i h a t e y o u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, can you tell when I started this chapter I was rebelling against English homework?
> 
> But jokes aside this chapter was a lot of fun to write, another warning: the next two (?) chapters will still be heavily revolving around Brooke/Christine before we return to good old boyf riends.
> 
> Expect an inconsistent schedule because I'm in one of those crazy periods of my life right now when everything happens at once (preparing for a huge mash-up musical show in my drama group, a fucking insane amount of tests, realising I have a undiagnosable and unregistered psychological disorder (MaDD), the usual you know? *laughs slightly hysterically*) so until the next one guys!
> 
> Mae <3


	6. Macho Bisexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BadassMercutio : we have to get christine and brooke together 
> 
> NicebutbitchyNurse : agreed
> 
> PedofileParis : wait why is this called let’s get them dating #2
> 
> FightylittleTybalt : erm
> 
> FatwiseFriar : dont worry about it mate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I must love you, because I dragged myself over to a computer and finished off this chapter for you all. I think some thanks goes to a green balloon that I adopted physics class. He has a smiley face. He is called Egon. 
> 
> Everybody, give thanks to Egon.
> 
> And now, let chaos and extremely lazy writing ensue:
> 
> Name reminders!  
>  \- jeremy = PedofileParis  
>  \- michael = PeaceobsessedBenvolio  
>  \- christine = LovelylittleJuliet  
>  \- chloe = BadassMercutio  
>  \- brooke = RomanticRomeo  
>  \- jenna = NicebutbitchyNurse  
>  \- jake = FightylittleTybalt  
>  \- rich = FatwiseFriar

**We Aren't The Cool Kids**

**Tuesday 3:45 pm**

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** i cant do it

 

 **BadassMercutio :** CHRISTINE

 

 **PedofileParis :** YOURE THE ONLY PERSON HE EMAILED THE CAST LIST TO

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** wait what

 

 **FatwiseFriar :** you mean to tell me that ive been sitting here for TEN MINUTES refreshing my email inbox for NOTHING

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** why does christine get to know and we don't

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** because she be da prefect of performing arts

 

 **FightylittleTybalt :** that position is ridiculous

 

 **BadassMercutio :** CHRISTINE WOULD YOU JUST OPEN THE EMAIL ALREADY

 

* * *

 

 _Christine couldn’t believe that this_ **_stupid_ ** _email was scaring her so fucking much. She was such a pussy, being the prefect of performing arts, though Jake was right, it was a ridiculous position and was only established because Mr Reyes had to gain funding._

_And she was the only one with access to the cast list before tomorrow. The others had a right to know…_

_But she couldn't do it. What if she’d failed? Normally, this wasn’t a worry, because she was the only one who took the auditions seriously, normally she was the only one going for the main role anyway. But not this year…_

_This year, someone else auditioned for Juliet._

_And nobody else auditioned for Romeo._

_Which meant Brooke had to audition with her…_

_And Madeline._

_That slutty, two-faced bitch had auditioned for the_ **_lead_ ** _role. And she didn’t even know what the play was about!_

_Christine had worked so hard for that role. Romeo and Juliet was one of her favourite plays. Juliet had been a target for her to play ever since she got into theatre, which was basically from the moment she emerged from her mother’s womb. But this year, it was about more than playing Juliet, being the lead role._

_It was about performing with Brooke. And she was already looking forward to it. Auditions had been so much fun, more fun than they’d ever been, with Brooke stumbling over certain words of Shakespearean English and Christine trying to hold in the giggles._

_And now Madeline, who auditioned because she was drunk, had decided to try and take that away from her._

_Christine jumped as her phone buzzed. But it wasn’t the normal ringtone for the chat…_

 

* * *

 

**LovelylittleJuliet > RomanticRomeo**

**Tuesday 3:49 pm**

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** christine?

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** i know you’re scared, but theres nothing to worry about. trust me

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** you were AMAZING

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** and madeline was absolutely trash compared to you

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** plus, if mr reyes doesnt cast you as juliet then hes gonna be without a romeo, because i am not doing that with madeline

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** im not doing it without you

 

* * *

 

 **Jackson Reyes** <jackson.reyes@gmail,com>

to christineeeeecanigulaaa@gmail.com

 

Dear Christine,

 

I tried to attach the cast list below, but I couldn’t get it to load, so I’ve just copied out here. Congratulations! The full list will be available on the drama room door tomorrow, but pass this on to your friends if you must.

 

Romeo - Brooke Lohst

Juliet - Christine Canigula

Mercutio - Chloe Valentine

Tybalt - Jake Dillinger

Benvolio - Michael Mell

Friar Laurence - Rich Goranski

Juliet’s Nurse - Jenna Rolan

Count Paris - Jeremy Heere

 

Since I imagine those are the only people you’ll share the list with, I’ve only listed the main cast. Everyone else can find out tomorrow.

 

Goodnight!

Jackson Reyes

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Tuesday 5:19 pm**

 

**\- Group call time : 2:09 -**

 

 **_RomanticRomeo -_ ** _how do you say thou_

 **_LovelylittleJuliet -_ ** _erm thou_

 **_FatwiseFriar -_ ** _if you cant even speak shakespearean english_

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _youre fucked_

 **_FatwiseFriar -_ ** _i was gonna say that_

 **_PeaceobsessedBenvolio -_ ** _i love that the person with the most lines cant even speak the play_

 **_RomanticRomeo -_ ** _ruuuuuude_

 **_LovelylittleJuliet -_ ** _i suggest you watch the movie_

 **_BadassMercutio -_ ** _leonardo dicaprio dyingggggg hes so fit_

 **_PedofileParis -_ ** _wow chloe_

 **_FightylittleTybalt -_ ** _have i really been talking to you loser s for two hours_

 **_PeaceobsessedBenvolio -_ ** _yes_

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _i don't know whether to take that offensively or not_

 **_PedofileParis -_ ** _oh crap bye bitches i gotta go eat dinner_

 **_LovelylittleJuliet -_ ** _jeremy turns into chloe_

 **_BadassMercutio -_ ** _truth tho_

 **_FatwiseFriar -_ ** _are you seriously eating dinner this early_

 

**_\- PedofileParis has disconnected -_ **

 

 **_RomanticRomeo -_ ** _oof i gotta go too_

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _did you just say oof_

 

**_\- RomanticRomeo has disconnected -_ **

**_\- BadassMercutio has disconnected -_ **

 

 **_FatwiseFriar -_ ** _vanishing act_

 

**_\- FatwiseFriar has disconnected -_ **

 

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _where are all these people going_

 **_PeaceobsessedBenvolio -_ ** _to play apocalypse of the damned darling_

 

**_\- PeaceobsessedBenvolio has disconnected -_ **

 

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _i think that was the gayest thing i ever heard_

 **_FightylittleTybalt -_ ** _touche_

 **_LovelylittleJuliet -_ ** _dont judge him for his gayness he cant help it hes michael_

 

**_\- LovelylittleJuliet has disconnected -_ **

**_\- FightylittleTybalt has disconnected -_ **

 

 **_NicebutbitchyNurse -_ ** _and now im the only one left how fun_

 

**_\- Voice call ended -_ **

 

* * *

 

**\- BadassMercutio has added “NicebutbitchyNurse”, “PedofileParis”, “PeaceobsessedBenvolio”, “FatwiseFriar” and “FightylittleTybalt” to “Lets get them DATING #2” -**

 

**Lets get them DATING #2**

**Tuesday 6:19 pm**

 

 **BadassMercutio :** we have to get christine and brooke together

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** agreed

 

 **PedofileParis :** wait why is this called let’s get them dating #2

 

 **FightylittleTybalt :** erm

 

 **FatwiseFriar :** dont worry about it mate

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** I dont want to force people who dont like each other to date

 

 **FightylittleTybalt :** youre no fun michael

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** they are in love

 

 **BadassMercutio :** brooke seriously loves christine

 

 **PedofileParis :** christine wants brooke to “notice” her aka she likes her

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** well if they like each other…

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** whats the plan

 

 **BadassMercutio :** knew you would come around darling

 

 **NicebutbitchyNurse :** it helps that they are romeo and juliet because LOVE LOTS OF LOVE

 

 **FightylittleTybalt :** you two actually have a plan

 

 **FatwiseFriar :** of course they do

 

 **PedofileParis :** why has chloe been typing for so long

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** we all stopped to wait for her and now its been five minutes

 

 **FatwiseFriar :** its not even been 2 minutes yet

 

 **PeaceobsessedBenvolio :** LEAVE ME ALONE WHORE

 

 **BadassMercutio :** so the party will come in as well but by that time they will already be a couple and we all have our roles: **JEREMY** \- as you are probably the closest to christine it will be your job to get her to admit that she likes brooke. **MICHAEL** \- you are christines gay friend and so you will invite her round your house to watch the movie and you will first talk about how fit leo is then how brooke matches him and then how good brooke is as romeo. **ME** \- im going to do jeremys role but for brooke. **JENNA** \- find out everything about to party all the tea so we can prepare for any drama and also how homophobic people would be to brooke and christine also can you come up with a ship name thanks hon. **JAKE** \- baby your job is to seduce that girl mr reyes made rehearsal director for the week hes off and make sure that week is completely focused on any scenes where romeo and juliet date. **RICH** \- you will make sure brooke and christine only hang out with each other and nobody else tries to get with basically be the relationship bodyguard

 

**\- BadassMercutio has renamed “PedofileParis” and “PeaceobsessedBenvolio” to “Truthseeker#1” and “Gaymoviebuddy” -**

 

**\- BadassMercutio has renamed “NicebutbitchyNurse” and “BadassMercutio” to “Teaspiller” and “Truthseeker#2” -**

 

**\- Truthseeker#2 has renamed “FightylittleTybalt” and “FatwiseFriar” to “Chiefseductor” and “Chiefbodyguard” -**

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** fucking hell chloe

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** you really went all out goddamn

 

 **Chiefseductor :** i take it we arent allowed to change these names

 

 **Chiefbodyguard :** jenna were you in on this

 

 **Teaspiller :** of course

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** responses to your roles please

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** im down i love the movie

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** i mean ill try because i ship

 

 **Chiefbodyguard :** i get to be a macho bisexual erm fuck yes

 

 **Teaspiller :** i helped make the plan of course im ready

 

 **Chiefseductor :** easiest job in the world

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** but how will we explain the names to brooke and christine

 

 **Teaspiller :** oh don't worry

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** we have a plan

 

 **Chiefseductor :** of course you do

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Tuesday 6:36 pm**

 

 **Teaspiller :** i have been a benevolent human and adopted a rock

 

 **Chiefbodyguard :** pardon

 

_Photo.jpeg.icalleditjerry_

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** wait who are you all

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** i feel excluded

 

 **Teaspiller :** i think you all know who i am

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** i rule the school darling

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** oh so this is now a guessing game?

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** jenna and chloe

 

 **Chiefseductor :** probably a man whore

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** jake

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** the fact that you got that tho

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** slushies video games and bob marley

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** that wasnt even hard michael

 

 **Chiefbodyguard :** macho bisexual

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** if that isnt rich im scared

 

**\- Teaspiller has renamed “Chiefbodyguard” to “Machobisexual” -**

 

 **Teaspiller :** sorry chloe but i love it too much

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** i don't object

 

 **Machobisexual :** my final form

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** but whats actually going on

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** didnt even get to make a riddle *cries*

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** *offers slushie*

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** cant us background characters have a joke without the main duo?

 

 **Teaspiller :** we didnt want to infect your professionalism with our stupidity

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** i mean

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** fair

 

 **Chiefseductor :** *a stunned offended silence descends on the chat*

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** anybody want a slushie?

 

* * *

 

**Lets get them DATING #2**

**Tuesday 7:14 pm**

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** you guys reeeeally planned that out

  
**Truthseeker#2 :** oh, i know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chocolate bar is out of date...
> 
> Oh well.
> 
> *stuffs into mouth*
> 
> *satisfied sigh*
> 
> Sorry, I got distracted. You can blame my absensce on a shitload of exams because those are veeeery fun (sense my sarcasm please) but rest assured those are over and I will be back to my regular schedule!
> 
> ...*pretending like I had a regular schedule*
> 
> oh oh and! what is christine and brookes ship name? Please somebody let me know!
> 
> Anywaaaaaay, see you next time!


	7. Just Watch The Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truthseeker#2 : under the desk but i have tea and i need to share it
> 
> RomanticRomeo : spill sister
> 
> Truthseeker#2 : so the new boy is already ensnared by madeline
> 
> RomanticRomeo : oh dear poor soul. hes fallen for the french slut siren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally picked up a pen and started writing because -
> 
> That quote did NOT work because I write this on a computer. Excuse me for trying to shoehorn in a Hamilton referance I'm listening to Hurricane so I have an excuse.

**Lets get them DATING #2**

**Wednesday 8:04 am**

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** chloe the party is on friday yes 

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** yah

 

 **Teaspiller :** yall i have a ship name are you ready

 

 **Machobisexual :** no

 

 **Teaspiller :** *dramatic voice* PLAYRIDE

 

 **Chiefseductor :** what the fuck jenna

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** its catchy

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** i get the play but what is the ride

 

 **Teaspiller:** inside joke

 

 **Chiefseductor:** *rejection*

 

 **Truthseeker#1:** i have some good news

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** wait did you manage to truth seek

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** youre damn right i did

 

 **Machobisexual :** heckin yes 

 

 **Chiefseductor :** wait do you have proof

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** screenshots i did it last night

 

 **Teaspiller :** that is 2 successes in one day bitches

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** send em also i told you this plan would work

 

_Photo.jpeg.thisistheworkofanalphamale_

 

 **Chiefseductor :** ok no never call yourself an alpha male

 

**\- Machobisexual has renamed “Truthseeker#1” to “Alphamale” -**

 

 **Chiefseductor :** i thought we were friends

 

 **Machobisexual :** i exist to piss you off

 

* * *

 

_Photo.jpeg.thisistheworkofanalphamale_

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** please stop why youre making me uncomfortable

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** i just feel like theres something youre not telling me and its only fair you know some of my secrets

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** if i admit it you cannot tell 

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** i wont tell the subject of the secret wait what have you done to me why am i speaking like shakespeare

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** brooke

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** little bit vague there

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** brooke i like brooke i think i like brooke i think im lesbian help me please 

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Wednesday 8:23 am**

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** im actually mad

 

 **Romantic Romeo :** fuck madeline and her stupid rules

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** you really wanna go don't you

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** yeah i always go and now i cant cause im not in a bloody couple

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** well im not going and im happy

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** yeah but michael youre a nerd and a guy

 

 **Alphamale :** thats called rejection michael

 

 **LovelylittleJuliet :** im not going either we can be lonely together

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** ay thanks chrissy

 

 **Truthseeker#1 :** do the terms involve kissing because if they don't i don't mind pretending to be your boyfriend

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** oh jeremy thanks love but the rules say you have to kiss on the doorstep

 

 **Machobisexual :** she probably just wants to piss you off brooke

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** its working

 

 **Chiefseductor :** should we tip away all of the beer and drug her 

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** erm

 

 **Machobisexual :** ive known him since kindergarten and trust me he has a dark side

 

* * *

 

**Lets get them DATING #2**

**Wednesday 12:14 am**

 

 **Chiefseductor :** well i played my part darling

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** you did it? You had play rehearsal earlier?

 

 **Chiefseductor:** we are now rehearsing the scene where they first meet for the next week

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** i also got christine to come over tonight and a movie session is go

 

 **Machobisexual :**  did you give me a pointless role because i actually have no role in life

 

 **Chiefseductor :** don't go there rich bud what happened

 

* * *

 

**\- Chiefseductor has added “Machobisexual” and “Nicothepickle” to “Gang” -**

 

**Gang**

**Wednesday 1:04 pm**

 

 **Machobisexual :** what a creative name

 

 **Chiefseductor :** what happened

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Erm what’s going on

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Is this Jake?

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Babe are you ok?

 

 **Machobisexual :** im fine

 

 **Chiefseductor :** you may be two years older than us but you do not need to text with punctuation also yes im jake

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Rich darling are you ok?

 

 **Machobisexual :** its just one of those days

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Should I come pick you up?

 

 **Machobisexual :** please

 

 **Nicothepickle :** Ok babe I’m on my way, also it’s nice to meet you Jake

 

 **Chiefseductor :** well whilst your caring boyfriend is on the way what happened

 

 **Machobisexual :** i just everyones happy and im not happy

 

 **Chiefseductor :** i mean not everyones happy all the time mate

 

 **Machobisexual :** easy for you to say mr perfect

 

 **Chiefseductor :** well right now lets look at something we both have thats perfect

 

 **Machobisexual :** you mean relationships

 

 **Chiefseductor :** your boyfriend is great

 

 **Chiefseductor :** but apparently he speeds because hes in the car park jesus fuck

 

 **Machobisexual :** he is pretty great actually

 

 **Machobisexual :** hey, im pretty great actually!

 

 **Machobisexual :**  ill cya mate gotta go hang out with my boyf

 

 **Chiefseductor :** there we go mate bye

 

* * *

 

**Truthseeker#2 > RomanticRomeo**

**Wednesday 2:29 pm**

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** heyyyy bitchhhh

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** either youre drunk or in chem

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** chem

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** under the desk but i have tea and i need to share it

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** spill sister

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** so the new boy is already ensnared by madeline

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** oh dear poor soul. hes fallen for the french slut siren

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** SHE IS NOT FRENCH! SHE JUST PRETENDS TO BE FOR ATTENTION!

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** alright alright

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** ok no but seriously speaking of forbidden love…

 

 **RomanticRomeo:** is that the first time you’ve added punctuation to text in your life

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** IS YOUR FORBIDDEN LOVE FOR CHRISTINE EVEN HARDER NOW THAT YOURE ROMEO AND SHES JULIET

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** i don't love christine 

 

 **Truthseeker#2 :** …

 

 **RomanticRomeo :** fine i love christine

 

* * *

 

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Wednesday 2:54 pm**

 

_Photo.jpeg.beatthatbitches_

 

 **Teaspiller :** wow ok then

 

 **Alphamale :** didnt you go a bit too NOT subtle with that?

 

**\- Chiefseductor has renamed “Truthseeker#2” to “Successbitches” -**

 

 **Successbitches :** thanks babe

 

* * *

 

_Michael would normally spend his evenings wallowing in self pity because he was hopelessly in love with his best friend and now things were stupidly awkward between them._

_Tonight, however, he had a job to do._

_Even if he couldn’t ever date the person he wanted, he could make sure Christine and Brooke got together and were happy. That was why he’d rented out this soppy-ass Romeo and Juliet movie and was currently filling his video game den with lots of popcorn and red mountain dew._

_The doorbell rang, and he shot up from the floor, almost colliding with the ceiling. “I’ll get it!” He yelled into the kitchen and raced to the front door._

_Christine was standing outside, wringing her hands and not really sure why she was there._

_“Ayyy, welcome to my cave of chaos!” Michael threw open the door with a massive grin and Christine was reassured. It didn’t matter why she was there, she was just going to have fun with a friend._

_They went inside, but something was off in the atmosphere. As soon as Romeo came on screen Michael looked like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how, and Christine_ **_really_ ** _hated this movie. She was trying to keep in the negative criticism._

_But she couldn’t hold it in and flipped a popcorn bowl._

_“Oh come on! A fish tank!!! This movie is a disgrace to all that is good about Shakespeare and literary tropes!”_

_Michael burst into laughter. “It’s called artistic license and metaphoric expression my dear.”_

_After that the movie was peppered with their little comments and criticisms. This, on the whole, made things a lot easier for Michael to constantly, at least, that's how it seemed to Christine, constantly talk about Brooke and Romeo._

_“Do you like the way she acts in your scenes together?”_ _“Does she interact well with the other characters?”_ _“Do you think she looks good in her costume?”_ _“Does she keep everything traditional as possible?”_ _“Is she better than this fit guy Leo over here?”_

_“Oh my god stop talking about Brooke Michael!” Christine sunk even further into the beanbag. “I don’t know, she’s great. Oh my god I hate this scene. They ruin it.”_

_“Hey here’s a Romeo and Juliet theory for you! The Friar is secretly a drug lord, and Juliet is a hallucination. Romeo is just a pawn in the Friar’s game to expand his empire to Mantua, and he’s kinda a drug addict. And Paris leads a rival drug industry and -” He trailed off when he saw the look on Christine’s face._

_“You know what, lets just watch the movie.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right you can thank the boy I sit next to in class for that wonderful theory (i mean i believe it though not gonna lie...) and also I needed a distraction from almost being sick so I finished off this.
> 
> I'm not ill or anything, I just did a smut challenge earlier...
> 
> Don't do it kids.
> 
> Eat eggs and beans instead.


	8. I Really Really Really Really Really Really Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Romantic Romeo : stop sexting jake im having a lesbian crisis
> 
> Successbitches : this better be interesting because im enjoying myself'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back ok ok so one thing to say just one thing:
> 
> LISTEN  
> TO  
> THE  
> BAND  
> SET  
> IT  
> OFF  
> NOW
> 
> great on with the story
> 
> Name reminders!  
> \- jeremy = Alphamale  
> \- michael = Gaymoviebuddy  
> \- christine = Recklessloveconfessor  
> \- chloe = Successbitches  
> \- brooke = Lesbiancrisis  
> \- jenna = Teaspiller  
> \- jake = Chiefseductor  
> \- rich = Machobisexual

**Romantic Romeo > Successbitches**

**Thursday 1:14 am**

 

**RomanticRomeo :** chloe i know youre there

 

**RomanticRomeo :** stop sexting jake im having a lesbian crisis

 

**Successbitches :** this better be interesting because im enjoying myself

 

**RomanticRomeo :** ok just let me rant

 

**\- Successbitches has renamed ‘RomanticRomeo’ to ‘Lesbiancrisis’ -**

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** i cant do it anymore the unrequited love is killing me

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** i cant focus i cant study i cant rehearse and i cant let her down i just cant

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** im trying to hide it but if she knows somehow it will be LESS awkward

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** im going to tell her i know she wont feel the same about me oh god but forget that i cant tell her

 

**Successbitches :** fuck the fact that its one in the morning…

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** i cant believe it i made you add punctuation

 

**Successbitches :** great what a success for you

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** wait what is my name

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** oh well i guess its one way to come out to people

 

**Successbitches :** im so glad you messaged me you cant not do this

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** i can not and i will not

 

**Successbitches :** you can go over to christines house in the middle of the night and confess your undying love and you will

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** wouldnt be surprised if she ordered a retranin order

 

**Successbitches :** retranin

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** thats what she does

 

**Successbitches :** god youre stuck self torturing

 

**Lesbiancrisis :** say something to make me go

 

**Successbitches :** a cute theater obsessed lesbian might join the school soon who is single and interested

 

_ Photo.jpeg.outthewindowigo _

 

* * *

 

**LovelyLittleJuliet > Alphamale**

**Thursday 1:49 am**

 

**LovelyLittleJuliet :** problem

 

**Alphamale :** ?

 

**LovelyLittleJuliet :** im feeling a feeling and i think its called feeling reckless

 

**\- Alphamale has renamed “LovelyLittleJuliet” to “Recklessloveconfessor” -**

 

**Recklessloveconfessor :**  how did you know i was going to say that

 

**Recklessloveconfessor :** but am i losing my mind

 

**Recklessloveconfessor :** convince me not to tell her tomorrow

 

**Alphamale :** lifes too short to be dancing with the devil

 

**Recklessloveconfessor :** fuck

 

**Alphamale :** what is it 

 

**Recklessloveconfessor :** brooke just threw a rock at my window shes outside my house

 

**Alphamale :** at two in the morning?

 

* * *

  
  


**Lets Get Them Dating #2**

**Wednesday 2:00 am**

 

**Successbitches :** enough of you are now online for me to display this

 

_ Photo.jpeg.ohtheteasis _

_ Photo.jpeg.andwaitheresmore  _

_ Photo.jpeg.thelovetrainispullingoutofthestation _

_ Photo.jpeg.toottoot _

 

**Alphamale :** do you want that tea with sugar or even more gossip

 

_ Photo.jpeg.lookatthishopelessconfession _

_ Photo.jpeg.igivesuchgoodadvice _

_ Photo.jpeg.ohlookwhatasurprise _

 

**Successbitches :** oh fuck yes i was slightly scared she was lying

 

**Alphamale :** i think your plan actually worked

 

**Successbitches :** i like that everyone just vanishes as we start talking its not like anyone sleeps

 

**Alphamale :** i guess ill sleep when im dead

 

* * *

 

_ Brooke was actually in her front lawn. Brooke had actually thrown a rock at her window. _

_ Brooke had come to, to see, her? _

_ Why would she do that? What was she going to say? It was two in the morning, what was she thinking? What was she doing? _

_ Brooke was, in fact, pacing over the newly-mowed grass of the Canigula household’s front lawn and questioning the fucked-up decisions her brain pushed her into doing, when Christine stepped out of the front door wrapped in a fuzzy pink dressing gown. _

_ Brooke herself was in a giraffe onesie, so she wasn’t one to judge. Vaguely, she wondered if anyone had seen her pelting through the town towards Christine’s street. Most people probably were almost asleep, they would be questioning why a giraffe was racing down the road in the middle of the night, but she couldn’t focus on that. _

_ Actually, someone had seen Brooke, a vaguely-insane old woman who lived alone, and she was in fact questioning why a giraffe was racing down the road in the middle of the night, but Pauline just shrugged it off, realising that teenagers never really changed their crazy but at least the giraffe wasn’t shooting herself or some equally stupid bullshit. _

_ Anyway, back to Christine’s house. _

_ “What on earth are you doing here?” Christine hissed, walking over the grass to the pacing figure. “It’s the middle of the night Brooke!” _

_ “I know, I know, I’m really sorry.” Brooke self-consciously pulled her hood up over her face, letting the ears drop down her cheeks, and her expression was just so earnest and worried that Christine couldn’t hold back the giggles. _

_ She laughed until her sides hurt, no longer caring who she woke up, and eventually Brooke joined her.  _

_ “OK, sorry, sorry, but seriously, what-” _

_ “Just listen to me alright. I know this is probably, well, obviously a bad time, but I can’t just pretend any longer and I really need to let this out and it couldn’t wait till tomorrow.” _

_ Brooke took Christine’s hand in her own and smiled bashfully. She looked scared, and hesitant, and also like she didn’t really want to be here, but Christine didn’t allow herself to hope. She didn’t allow the spark to settle in her heart, but the spark caught alight anyway, and when Brooke opened her mouth again Christine’s whole chest was on fire. _

_ “Christine, I, I don’t know how on Earth to say this, but I really, oh god this is, ok ok,” Brooke let go and crossed her arms across her chest, studying Christine’s face. Lit up by the strange shadows of the night, the girl in the dressing gown looked nervous, yet so beautiful.  _

_ Christine was thinking just the same thing about the girl in the onesie. _

_ “Christine, I really really really really really really like you.” _

_ The girl in the dressing gown almost fainted. _

_ When the pain in her chest had receded somewhat, and she actually found the ability to breathe again, it was still a few seconds before words managed to escape from her mouth.  _

_ “You, you really mean that?” _

_ “I really do. And I’m sorry, and I know this is going to ruin what was between us and I hate that I did this and -” _

_ Christine cut her off with a kiss. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voila! We actually got some playride action are you all happy now? The tags did promise it would happen and the tags do not lie...
> 
> So the next chapter will, and this is a definite promise, be the last chapter that is mainly focused in Brooke and Christine, and it will deal with the infamous party. After that we'll get some good old boyf shit. 
> 
> My original plan was to finish this fic with the party, but to that I say fuck my original plan I'm carrying on.
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> (PS: Listen to Set It Off)


	9. Wait And See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Successbitches : WeLl HeY MaYBE if YOu HaDnT IgNOReD ME ANd JEReMy
> 
> Alphamale : ThEn YOu WOulD KNoW ThE MOTher-HEckIn TEA
> 
> Machobisexual : did you just say mother heckin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...ok im fucking sorry because i havent updated in ages, though in my defense i havent updated ANYTHING in ages
> 
> DAY OF THE PARTY! FINALLY! 
> 
> well as i write this note my brother is watching The Good Dinosaur and its the bit where Arlo thinks his dad has come back but it isnt real and Im really close to tears because fuck this movie is a heartbreaker so yeah read on, enjoy, and let me cry.

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Friday 8:08 am**

 

 **Successbitches :** PARTY DAY PEEEEPS

 

 **Machobisexual :** wait are we actually doing this

 

 **Successbitches :** if by this you mean skipping school and coming round mine then yes we most certainly are

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** sorry chloe but me and jeremy are having a gaming session the whole day

 

 **Teaspiller :** aw you poor tragic singles

 

 **Alphamale :** shut da fuc up

 

 **Chiefseductor :** wow how eloquent

 

 **Machobisexual :** im surprised you even knew that was a word

 

 **Chiefseductor :** you shut da fuc up

 

 **Teaspiller :** wait what are christine and brooke doing

 

 **Successbitches :** WeLl HeY MaYBE if YOu HaDnT IgNOReD ME ANd JEReMy

 

 **Alphamale :** ThEn YOu WOulD KNoW ThE MOTher-HEckIn TEA

 

 **Machobisexual :** did you just say mother heckin

 

**\- Gaymoviebuddy has renamed “Alphamale” to “Motherheckin” -**

 

 **Motherheckin :** this suits me

 

 **Teaspiller :** wait i just read the messages

 

 **Teaspiller :** SHIT FOR REAL

 

 **Lesbiancrisis :** morning yall i think a few name changes are in order

 

 **Recklessloveconfessor :** i agree completely

 

**\- Recklessloveconfessor has renamed “Lesbiancrisis” to “ImwithCanigula” -**

**\- ImwithCanigula has renamed “Recklessloveconfessor” to “WifeofBrooke” -**

 

 **Chiefseductor :** SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT

 

 **Machobisexual :** WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

 

 **Teaspiller :** YES YES and wait erm what the fuck rich

 

**-  WifeofBrooke has renamed “Machobisexual” to “Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw” -**

 

 **Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** leave me alone

 

_Photo.jpeg.thisismycelebrationface_

 

 **ImwithCanigula :** beautiful michael im adding it to my mugshot folder

 

 **Successbitches :** well congrats guys now could everybody get their arses over to my house please and thank you

 

 **Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** doesnt ask for much does she

 

 **Motherheckin :** have fun bitches

 

* * *

 

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 8:13 am**

 

**\- Successbitches started a group voice call -**

 

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _oh hey you all picked up_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _not like theres much else to do while heading to yours_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _i second that_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _i take it this is because jeremy and michael must date_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _well id guess so_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _we kind of forgot about them in our quest to make playride happen_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _hold up_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _oh yeah thats your guys ship name_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _the fuck_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _dont blame us it was chloes plan_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _gee thanks a bunch babe_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _anyway lets talk about jeremy and michael_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _do they have a ship name_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _fuck they need a ship name_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _boyf_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _oh my god yes_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _ok thats pretty funny_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _care to explain_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _oh last year rich wrote boyf on jeremys backpack and riends on michaels_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _lmaoooo_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _boyf it is ok so whats the plan_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _you dont have a plan what the hell_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _well i made the last one cant someone else do it_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _the last one worked_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _so_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _you have a success rate_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _plus apparently my plans all suck_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _erm can we not make chloe come up with this stupid plan_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _aww thanks honey_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _woah don't insult the hypothetical plan_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _jake what is your problem with the plan_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _well shes been playing around with this fucking plan the whole week and we only banged once_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _ok fuck no_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _nobody wants to know about your sex life jake_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _could we not do this now_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _well maybe we don't need a plan_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _come again babe_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _omg you called her babe aaaaaa_

 **_ImwithCanigula -_ ** _RICH_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _sorry sorry it was just adorable_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _going back to what you said christine_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _right well theyre at michaels all day yes_

 **_Successbitches -_ ** _yeah thats what jeremy said_

 **_Chiefseductor -_ ** _playing video games or something_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _and i know that michaels been wanting to confess_

 **_Teaspiller -_ ** _what you think hes gonna do it_

 **_Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw -_ ** _she has a point_

 **_WifeofBrooke -_ ** _all im saying is we just have to wait and see_

 

* * *

 

**Successbitches > Bigbunsfrenchbaby**

**Friday 3:26 pm**

 

 **Successbitches :** ok times and addresses honey xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** erm did i arrange a hookup that im not aware of or something? Xx

 

 **Successbitches :** what the fuck no its chloe duh xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** oh wait how did you get my username? Xx

 

 **Successbitches :** erm arent we friends babe? xx

 

 **Successbitches :** anyway can i get those fucking party times please xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** sure sure darling but are you in a couple? Xx

 

 **Successbitches :** oh my shit madeline jake and i are the top couple in the school xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** just messing around sweetie Xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** my parents own the private country club be there for four Xx

 

 **Successbitches :** sure thing sweetie love ya xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** see you there darling miss you already Xx

 

 **Successbitches :** xx

 

 **Bigbunsfrenchbaby :** Xx

 

* * *

 

_“Oh my god that’s fucking brilliant!” Rich burst into laughter. “How on earth did you manage to stay sane throughout that entire conversation?”_

_“I was fantasizing about eating her brain.” Chloe grumbled, walking out of her closet in a lace black dress. “And Christine would you please just put the fucking dress on we’re all ready to go.”_

_Inside Chloe’s walk-in closet, Christine was panicking. “I look like a slut! A total fucking slut!” She folded her arms over her chest and tried to avoid looking in the mirror so she couldn’t see herself or the old red dress of Chloe’s that she was wearing._

_“Calm down Chrissy darling,” Brooke wound her arms around Christine’s neck and kissed her forehead, shaking out her blonde curls. “You look bloody beautiful, ok? I’m the luckiest woman in the world. It’s just a dress that makes you look stunning.”_

_“Speak for yourself honey.” Christine mumbed, looking at Brooke in her white satin dress; which did a perfect job of showing off her lush figure. “You’ve been to tons of these party things, it’s your life. And whilst you’re knocking back shots I’m sitting there on my computer watching A Very Potter Musical and eating chips.”_

_“Oh my god Chrissy, ok please breathe. You look nothing like any of the sluts that come to her parties, and because of you I don’t look like a slut tonight.” Brooke giggled and kissed Christine. It still made her think of crisp morning air and the feel of grass beneath her bare feet._

_Christine laughed into Brooke’s mouth. “Yes, because that is a sure fire way to make your girlfriend feel better about the stupid dress.”_

_Brooke grabbed her hand. “Come on, lets go and greet the rabble.”_

 

* * *

 

 

**WifeofBrooke > Gaymoviebuddy**

**Friday 3:44 pm**

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** heya michael

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** shouldnt you be at a party or some shit

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** well i just wanted to check in…

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** god i would change your username to the most annoying bitch on the planet if i didnt ship playride with all my soul

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** erm thanks but seriously are you gonna do it

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** i don't knowww christine i don't know

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** well i did it and look how happy i am

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** you know that youll live to regret it michael you have to tell him at some point

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** alright im gonna do it

 

_Photo.jpeg.wereallhereforyou_

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** holy shit i hate you so much only my appreciation for brooke is preventing this username change

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** wait is rich already drunk

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** yes, yes he is

 

* * *

 

_“Ok, three two one go!” Everyone raised their plastic red cups into the air as jake and Chloe made out on Madeline’s front porch. Rich and Nico had just done the same thing, and Christine had been handed some many beer bottles on the walk up the country club driveway that she was already feeling a little light-headed._

_“Whoop whoop, in you go guys!” Madeline reached over and handed Chloe a red cup filled with god knows what, which she promptly downed before strutting into the doorway. Brooke burst into laughter, but she could feel Christine tense up slightly. She pulled the girl closer._

_The couple walked over to Madeline, who raised an eyebrow that looked sharpied-on. “Erm, where are your guys partners?” She simpered, with the fakest smile plastered onto her glowing red lips. She looked ridiculous, but Brooke wasn’t about to insult her host. Instead, she just reached over and grabbed Christine by the shoulders, pressing her lips to her girlfriends._

_You know, she thought, kisses only get better as you add more to your count._

_“We are the couple Madeline. Now can we please go in?”_

 

* * *

 

_“Erm Michael, are you having a heart attack?” Jeremy hit pause on the remote and turned to his player one, who was breathing abnormally heavily. “It’s only, like, a moderate wave of zombies.”_

_“Oh, me? I’m fine.” Michael exhaled slowly and tried to calm his racing heart, falling back onto the beanbag. “But wait,” he reached over and grabbed the controller out of Jeremey’s hand._

 

_“There’s, erm, something I need to tell you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NOW ARLO'S RUNNING TO GO SAVE SPOT FROM THE MOTHERFUCKIN SHARK BIRDS AND I CANT AND -
> 
> whoops sorry got emotional
> 
> BUT THEY HAVE HIM TRAPPED IN THE MIDDLE OF A RAGING RIVER FOR FUCKS -
> 
> ok ok sorry ima just go before i cry again so see you guys next time when we're officially back to boyf :)
> 
> OMG ARLO JUST YEETED THE BIRD OUT OF THE AIR FUCK YES OH CRAP THERES A TSUNAMI...


	10. I Think You Should Leave Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Ah, fuck it. He needed a drink and a videogame made for only one player.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy I'm bacc guys you probably didn't miss me. Panic! At The Disco is blasting in my ear (I'M TAKING BACK THE CROWN!) so I'ma go scream that around my house while you hopefully enjoy this chapter :)
> 
> Name reminders!   
>  \- jeremy = Motherheckin  
>  \- michael = Gaymoviebuddy  
>  \- christine = WifeofBrooke  
>  \- chloe = Successbitches   
>  \- brooke = ImwithCanigula  
>  \- jenna = Teaspiller  
>  \- jake =Chiefseductor  
>  \- rich = Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw

_“This better be, like, interesting, because I was totally bossing that level.” Jeremy reached over and pulled the hood of Michael’s hoodie over his head. “Now you look funny. What is it?”_

_“Er, erm…” Michael was panicking. Panicking more than he ever had in his life. And because he was panicking so much that he was possibly in danger of a heart attack, his brain went into override. And then he reached up and pulled the strings of his hoodie so that he couldn’t see._

_Jeremy froze for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. “Ok, very funny. But seriously Michael, what is it?”_

_“I, erm, erm,” Michael didn’t think he had the emotional strength to pull the hoodie back down. His face was flushing bright red, he could feel it - god, how had Christine and Brooke managed to do this? How could confessing your undying love to your best friend be this hard? Michael would rather do champagne, cocaine, gasoline and most things in between (like roaming the city in a shopping cart) than do this._

_Jeremy raised his eyebrows. He’d seen Michael weird, but never this weird. What the hell was going on? Nobody could have - no, Rich promised that he’d never say anything to Michael about the_ **_crush_ ** _. Maybe somebody else had said something?_

_“Bathroom!” Michael suddenly yelled. Jeremy fell back slightly in shock, dropping the crisp he’d been about to eat. “Bathroom? The fuck?”_

_“Me and bathroom! Need bathroom!” Michael jumped up, never minding that he couldn’t see through his red hood, crashed into a coffee table and ran into the bathroom._

_“Ughhhhh, roll me like a blunt cause I wanna go home!” Michael whisper-screamed into the mirror, before remembering that this was his home and he couldn’t just escape. Maybe he could just smile a bit, maybe the opposite, pretend he’d been weird on purpose. Yeah, it was a dare from Christine or something -_

_“Aaaa Christine!” Michael fumbled around in his pocket for his phone. He couldn’t be that drunk yet, she’d help!_

_He froze when he heard a knock on the bathroom door. “Michael?” Jeremy was now both annoyed and concerned, he hated being left out and what the actual flying fuck was going on? “Are you ok?”_

_“Sorry, I, erm, I’ll be out in a minute.” Michael collapsed on the floor and leaned back against the sink, clutching his phone. “Please don’t be drunk._

 

* * *

 

**Gaymoviebuddy > WifeofBrooke **

**Friday 8:17 pm**

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** oh lord chrissy help help

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** i was a fool

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** lucky for you i was waiting for brooke to grab us drinks what did you do

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** i almost confessed

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** aaaaAAAAAA wait almost?

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** then i froze and ran out of the room with a hoodie over my head screaming about the bathroom

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** have you been drinking?

 

 **Gaymoviebuddy :** CHRISTINE!

 

**\- WifeofBrooke has renamed “Gaymoviebuddy” to “Drunkhoodiehead” -**

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** CHRISTIIIIIIINE!

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** i have absolutely no advice for you in this situation

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** whats come over you?

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i think its possible i had a mild panic attack

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** oh you think?

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** i think it would honestly be weirder at this point if you didnt tell him

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i wish i could elevate from the earth far away to a place where im free from the weight

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** i think love exists even on neptune michael

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** but does it exist on uranus, thats the question

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** this is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks michael, welcome to the club!

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** BITCH! I! AM! NOT! DRUNK!

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** just tell him also where the fuc is brooke

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** im sitting against the door now and i feel like fucking elsa

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** did you MAKE A SNOWMAN?

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** im just a little michael in the bathroom

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** im needed for a makeout session i gotta go but youll be fine jeremy will love you good luck

 

 **WifeofBrooke :** its better to burn than fade away 

 

* * *

 

_Jeremy sighed and sat against the door, hoping that Michael wouldn’t throw it open because it would probably break his neck. It’s hard when you can’t help your best friend, but it’s even harder when nothing was wrong two minutes ago and now they’re having a panic attack in a bathroom._

_His phone beeped._

 

* * *

 

**Drunkhoodiehead > Motherheckin**

**Friday 8:21 pm**

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** im sorry but i cant do this face to face

 

 **Motherheckin :** michael youre actually scaring me the shit is up with you?

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** look, ugh god i cant say this

 

 **Motherheckin :** say it or i will turn into the guy from the shining and break into that  bathroom with a chainsaw

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i dont think this basement comes with a chainsaw

 

 **Motherheckin :** stop changing the subject

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** ok but you cant please don't hate me

 

 **Motherheckin :** its not like you killed my father michael

 

 **Motherheckin :** wait DID YOU KILL MY FATHER?

 

 **Motherheckin :** i can hear that youre laughing

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i didnt kill your father

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** please don't say anything just let me type

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** you know that im gay

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** well i never liked dustin

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i only said that because

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** ugh god im running out of fillers

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** well if you don't know now you know

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i like you

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** as in more than a friend

 

 **Drunkhoodiehead :** i think you should leave now

 

* * *

 

_Michael waited a few seconds, then heard the basement door quietly shut. That was it then. Jeremy had left._

_He opened the door and reached for some crisps, but fell face-first into the mattress instead and bawled his eyes out. Well done Michael, he thought, you just lost everything._

_Not everyone is destined to be together anyway._

_Ah, fuck it. He needed a drink and a videogame made for only one player._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes that was short and a horrible cliffhanger ending and basically a chapter of p!atd lyrics but I don't care, I know whats going to happen next after all *smirking*
> 
> (MWA HA HA H AH H H HA HA)
> 
> Anyway, don't worry, the poor boyf babies will be ok, I just need to stop doing aggressive karaoke and actually write the next chapter, which i'll do in... a week... maybe two... like an unspecified unit of time or something...
> 
> See you in an unspecified amount of time!


	11. Drunk...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Maybe if he ran far enough he’d get away from his feelings'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy guess who's back? Sorry for my long absence, but I just went back to school and, you know, shit happens. Ooh thats tea - sorry I'm binging season 6 of once upon a time and stuffs happening. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 8:47 pm**

 

**WifeofBrooke :** hey yall need to meet me and brooke at the lounge on the first floor

 

**WifeofBrooke :** you know the one where somebody vomited

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** why the fuck 

 

**Teaspiller :** wait whats goin on i just interrupted a makeout session for this TRASH

 

**WifeofBrooke :** its michael and jeremy duh

 

**Successbitches :** oh fine 

 

**Chiefseductor :** youre really lucky we just finished 

 

**WifeofBrooke :** don't finish that sentence

 

**\- Teaspiller has renamed “Chiefseductor” to “Sexuallyobsessed” -**

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** can i bring nico

 

**Teaspiller:** erm yes?

 

**Teaspiller :** ima ditch dustin tho

 

**Successbitches :** you forget that nobodys sober rn

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** ah but you see, nico didnt drink

 

**Sexuallyobsessed :** found you all

 

* * *

 

_ “I have to ask why we’re meeting on the vomit couch.” Jenna said as she leaned on Brooke’s shoulder, clearly very drunk.  _

_ “Because it’s the perfect place to talk without anybody listening.” Christine replied, sitting down on the clean part of the couch and sticking out her hand to the boy with sand curls that had arrived with Rich. “Nice to meet you Nico.” _

_ “Likewise.” He shook her hand, and the others nodded a greeting. Chloe grunted and downed the rest of her beer. “But I have to ask, what are we doing?” _

_ “We, my dear boyfriend,” Rich showed Nico his phone. “We are matchmaking. Shall we go?” _

_ “Why are you all drunk and talking posh?” Jake slurred, swinging his arm around Chloe’s shoulders as they walked out of the part towards Nico’s car. “It’s weird. Y’all are weird. Why can’t Michael and Jeremy fix their own problems?” _

_ “Oh my sweet jesus christ.” Jenna said, looking at the screenshots of Christine’s chat with Michael. What the hell? “These two are so pathetic I can’t even! Just kiss and make up!” She screamed, swinging into the car.  _

_ Nico, pretty amused by all that was going on, reversed out of the drive. “Ok where am I going?” _

_ But then a figure pelted past them down the lane, visibly crying. Everyone craned their head. “Fuck me was that Jeremy! Babe stop the car.” Rich threw open the door. “I’m going after him.” _

_ “I didn’t drink so much, I can drive.” Christine clambered into the front seat as Jake and Nico raced after Rich and Jeremy. “Let’s go see Michael.” _

_ “Whoop whoop ROAD TRIP!” Jenna pumped her fists in the air then fell into a fit of giggles. Chloe rolled her eyes and returned her attention to her phone.  _

_ “They’re such polar opposites when they’re drunk.” Christine noted, looking at the exhilarated Jenna and the moody Chloe behind her. Brooke giggled in response. “Yeah, and then I was the one that ranted over and over to everyone about both of ‘em. Can’t tell you the amount of drunk scandals we went through.” _

_ Christine chuckled, then pulled onto Michael’s turning, throwing Brooke her phone. “I know yours is dead, so use mine and cheer him up. Tell him we’re coming.” _

 

* * *

 

**WifeofBrooke > Drunkhoodiehead**

**Friday 8:59 pm**

**WifeofBrooke :** its good old brooke face

 

**WifeofBrooke :** quite drunk

 

**WifeofBrooke :** really hoping my gf don't crash da car right now

 

**WifeofBrooke :** ooooh i see your house

 

**WifeofBrooke :** cant wait for half drunk christine to try parallel parking

 

****\- Drunkhoodiehead has renamed “WifeofBrooke” to “Drunkparallelparker” -** **

 

 

**Drunkhoodiehead :** don't you have a party to be at

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** bbitch open the freaking door

 

* * *

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw > Motherheckin**

**Friday 9:01 pm**

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** bitch ive been chasing you for like ten minutes

 

**Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw :** WHERE ARE YOU JEREMY HEERE

 

**\- Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw has renamed “Motherheckin” to “Drunkhideaway” -**

 

**\- Drunkhideaway has renamed “Fuckmegentlywithachainsaw” to “Drunkstalker” -**

 

**Drunkhideaway :** aint drunk and leave me alone rich

 

**Drunkstalker :** well youre either drunk or crazy so jeremy where the fuck are you

 

**Drunkstalker :** jeremy i - oh shit hi

 

* * *

 

_ Jeremy hadn’t stopped running. He’d run out of the basement, ran out of Michael's house and then just ran. Ran past the car that contained all his friends. Ran from the three that were chasing him. Ran and ran. _

_ Maybe if he ran far enough he’d get away from his feelings.  _

_ But Rich had found him, sitting with his head in his hands on the swings of the local park. Rain lightly dripping onto his skin, but he couldn’t tell if his cheeks were wet with tears or raindrops.  _

_ Rich sat next to him, and Jake appeared soon after, out of breath, collapsing on the sandy floor in front of him. A third figure was visible in the murky darkness, hanging slightly back - Jeremy assumed it was Nico.  _

_ “Ok mate, spill.” Jake lay back with his hands under his head. “Why are you moping on a swing like this is a rom-com.” _

_ “Where’s everyone else?” Jeremy asked, trying to avoid discussing the events of the evening thus far. “Michael's house.” Rich answered, and Jeremy felt another tear fall from his eye. _

_ “Oh.” Was all he could say. _

_ “Seriously, what happened?” Rich knitted his eyebrows together in confusion. Jeremy had never been one to mope this badly, and he was always quick to go to sarcasm. But not this time. _

_ “Read.” Jeremy passed his phone over to Rich, and Jake leaned over to see as well. Their eyes scanned through the messages, going from ‘DID YOU KILL MY FATHER’ to ‘i think you should leave now’. Rich sighed heavily. This was too much drama for a drunk bisexual to handle on a regular day. _

_ “Erm, Jeremy, what’s actually the problem?” Rich raised his eyebrows at the teary-eyed boy beside him, then punched him - lightly - in the arm. “Just go back and tell him you like him!”  _

_ “It’s not that easy Rich. I’m scared.” Jeremy muttered, taking back his phone. “What’s gonna happen now? Why would he even  _ **_want_ ** _ to be with me? I fucking left him, for christs sake. And do I even really want all… this? Do I even  _ **_like_ ** _ him enough to do all this? Hell, would he even want this? Why would he want me?” _

_ “Jesus fucking christ Jeremy.” Jake said. “It doesn’t have to be that complicated. You like each other. Go date. Half the school ships you anyway.” _

_ Rich shot him a look, but Jake just rolled his eyes. He’d never been one for tact and he wasn’t going to start now. _

_ “I think what’s Jake was  _ **_trying_ ** _ to say is that you just need to talk to Michael, Jeremy. We can drive you - well, we can walk you back there.” _

_ “I’m scared, Rich. Really fucking scared.” _

_ “I’d be worried if you weren’t Jeremy. Scared is good when you’re about to confront the guy you like. _

 

* * *

 

_ “Michaeeeeeeel!!” Jenna pounded on the bathroom door with her fist. Apparently his parents weren’t home, but the front door hadn’t been locked so they’d charged right into the basement. Christine and Brooke were at the door with her, Chloe lagging behind eating a bowl of popcorn she’d found on one of the beanbags because she apparently needed to ‘sober up’. “I swear to shit if you don’t -” _

_ Michael threw open the door, trying to look pissed, but he just started crying again when he was all four of them there. Brooke wrapped him into a hug. “Oh you poor baby. Christ I sound like your mother.” She laughed into his hair. “You really did good this time, huh?” Christine quipped, leaning on the door frame. _

_ Michael didn’t want to talk, so he just vaguely threw his phone at Chloe. “Oh wow.” She said, reading the messages. “This is so much tea it’s insane. It’s like really spicy chili tea.” _

_ “I don’t think chili tea is a thing Chlo.” Jenna pulled the phone form her hand and read over the messages herself. “Boy why did you tell him to leave? YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE OUT WITH HIM!” She grabbed a fistful of popcorn and threw it at Michael. _

_ He pulled out of the hug and stood with his arms crossed round his chest. “Is she always this hyper when she gets drunk.” _

_ “Yes. I had to deal with these two by myself, you know.” Brooke grabbed the phone and read through the messages with Christine. “Oh damn.” _

_ “You’re such an IDIOT! A fucking idiot!” Christine swore, shaking Michael’s shoulders. “Why did you tell him to leave?” _

_ “Why the shit wouldn’t I?” Michael frowned at all four of them. “Wait, what, wait, where’s everyone else what do you know?” _

_ Jenna smacked her palm to her forehead. “Duh, they’re with Jeremy. Oh my god saying duh is so much fun. Duh duh duh. Anyway. Jeremy likes you, DUH! And you have to get together!  _ **_DUH!_ ** _ Boyf must stay afloat!” _

_ “Lack of any sort of tact, as always.” Chloe mused, before walking forward to stare at Michael. “We knew that Jeremy liked you, and we knew that you liked him, and here we are. This is stupid. I wanna get drunk, get laid and go home.” _

_ “You’re already drunk.” Brooke pointed out. _

_ “J, wh, what!” Michael waved his hands in the air and collapsed face-down onto a beanbag. “You knew that he liked me!” He pointed at Christine. She shrugged. “Why didn’t you FUCKING TELL ME!” And then he turned back into the beanbag… _

_ Because if Jeremy liked him, then… _

_ “Why did he leave?” _

_ “Oh he didn’t.” Said Chloe, looking down at her phone. “Well, more correctly, he’s on his way back now. _

__

* * *

 

 

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 9:25 pm**

 

**Successbitches :** christ this is dumb

 

**\- Drunkparallelparker has renamed “Successbitches” to “Drunkbitch” -**

 

**Drunkstalker :**  jeremy’s on his way back now

 

**Sexuallyobsessed :** god wont you people walk faster i wanna get laid

 

**\- Teaspiller has renamed “Sexuallyobsessed” to “Drunkhornyguy” -**

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** why are we all drunk

 

**Teaspiller :** this is what boyf drama does to us

 

**\- Drunkbitch has renamed “Teaspiller” to “Drunkdrama” -**

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** well we are all drunk anyway 

 

**Drunkstalker :** can someone let us in

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** doors open

 

_ Photo.jpeg.hurryuphesstressed _

 

**Drunkbitch :** but this popcorn is yum

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** why is michael swallowing a bean bag?

 

**Drunkdrama :** your guess is as good as mine

 

* * *

 

_ “I don’t know what I’m meant to say.” Michael groaned, running his hands through his hair.  _

_ “Speak from the heart.” Christine advised. Brooke scoffed, then put her hands on Michael’s shoulders. “No, just tell him the truth. And then kiss him.” _

 

* * *

 

_ “I can’t do this.” Jeremy turned back to Rich, Jake and Nico, looking up at him and his raised fist ready to knock on the door. “I can’t do this.” _

_ “Yes you can mate.” Rich smirked. “Just kiss him.” _

 

* * *

 

_ “That’s terrible advice Brooke.” Michael frowned at her. “But I mean, what have I got to lose at this point?” _

_ Chloe threw a handful of popcorn at Michael's head. “You’ll do fine, loverboy. And then when this is all over and you’re together we can change the play and have Benvolio and Paris get together." _

_ “No!”Christine yelled, at the exact time as Brooke and Jenna squealing “YES!” _

 

* * *

 

_ “At least you have us to advise you.” Jake winked.  _

_ “Oh what, a drunk bisexual unlicensced therapist, and even-drunker horny jock who just wants to go back to having sex with his girlfriend and a possibly-sober stranger?” Jeremy said dryly. _

_ “You know that Jeremy’s back when the sarcasm comes out.” Rich elbowed Nico. “And besides, this is my boyfriend, not some pedo off the street.” _

_ “I’d rather a pedo. They could just stab me and we’d be done with it.” Jeremy turned back to the door, and it seemed like the hardest thing in the world to raise his fist to the wood. _

 

* * *

 

_ A loud knock echoed around the basement. Michael fell back on the beanbag. “Shit shit shit shit.” He looked ready to choke himself on all the popcorn. _

_ So Brooke and Christine pushed him towards the stairs. “Go, loverboy!” Yelled Jenna and Chloe.  _

_ “You got this.” Christine whispered in Michael's ear as she and Brooke stepped back. _

_ Michael took a deep breath.  _

_ “I’ve got this.” _

 

* * *

 

_ Jeremy stepped back slightly as the door swung open.  _

 

_ “Hi.” Michael breathed _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry :)


	12. Boyf riends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In love with your best friend?
> 
> Yeah, life could really have been so much easier for both of them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaand we're finally here! THE PROMISED BOYF CHAPTER! i mean, we're had a few, but this one won't, for the first time ever, have a cliffhanger!
> 
> YAY!
> 
> ALSO!
> 
> OH! MY! GOD! 
> 
> ok so I'm from England, fyi. AND HOLY SHIT BMC HAS COME TO ENGLAND PEOPLE! 
> 
> AND GUESS WHO HAS SECOND ROW TICKETS!
> 
> Anyway yep kinda screaming be jealous of me and enjoy...
> 
> Oh name reminders!  
>  \- jeremy = Drunkhideaway  
>  \- michael = Drunkhoodiehead  
>  \- christine = Drunkparallelparker  
>  \- chloe = Drunkdrama  
>  \- brooke = ImwithCanigula  
>  \- jenna = Drunkdrama  
>  \- jake = Drunkhornyguy  
>  \- rich = Drunkstalker

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 9:30 pm**

 

**Drunkdrama :** you guys spill the tea 

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** we cant see anything from this basement apart from chloe eating popcorn

 

**Drunkstalker :** hate to break it to you but they’re in the living room we can’t see for shit

 

**Drunkstalker :** jake is currently and unsuccessfully trying to look discreetly through a window

 

**Drunkbitch :** i just took one look at the names on this chat and no not today

 

* * *

 

_ When his parents had news to break to him, they always did it in the living room. Your-great-aunt-Susie-or-something-that-you’ve-never-met-but-oh-it's-so-sad has died. Anything like that. _

_ But now that Jeremy was sitting with his elbows bent on the top of his legs, on that awful beige settee his mum refused to get rid of, staring at him, Michael wondered how they managed to break any sort of news.  _

_ Granted, the death of Susie wasn’t that depressing or earth-shattering, but the announcement of his mother and father was. And then Claire announcing she was going to marry his mother was just plain shocking. _

_ This beat those times in it’s value of both shocking, earth-shattering and frankly fucking terrifying. _

_ Jeremy, for his part, was just as nervous. He’d left Michael alone, his  _ **_best friend_ ** _ , all because he was too scared to admit what he’d known for quite a while but had just buried deep down.  _

_ At least Michael had already done his confession. And he hadn’t had to do it silently dying on a beige couch (that really was disgusting if he was honest), Michael did it online and if he had been silently dying, well, Jeremy couldn’t see through bathroom doors. _

_ “Erm…” Michael cleared his throat and looked over at the wall, then to the curtain, the  back to Jeremy, then over to the wall again. “Well, you already know what I’m gonna say. I like you. And, I’m sorry if that ruins everything but-” _

_ “It doesn’t, Michael. It doesn’t ruin anything.” _

 

* * *

 

**Lets Get Them DATING**

**Friday 9:34 pm**

 

**Drunkdrama :** ok yall brooke has chloes phone cause hers is dead so if chloe isnt being a bitch thats because brooke isnt a bitch

 

**\- Drunkstalker has renamed “ImwithCanigula” to “Drunknotabitch” -**

 

**Drunkbitch :** what was the point of that

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** is chloe like actually ok

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** so god help me if that is anyone but jake

 

**Drunkdrama :** rich should we eavesdrop

 

**Drunkstalker :** YES

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** NO

 

**Drunkbitch :** YALL DIDNT EAVESDROP ON ME AND CHRISTINE

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** didnt you gusy do that at like 2 am or some shit

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** gusy

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** i swear to fucking high heaven canigula

 

**Drunkstalker :** do you reckon theyve kissed yet

 

**Drunkbitch :** michael? oh honey theres a 100% chance of a mental breakdown but a 5% at best chance of a kiss

 

* * *

 

_ “What, what do you mean?” Michael squeezed his hands in his lap. God, why couldn’t he just pull a brooke and kiss jeremy at two in the morning? So much easier than whatever the fuck this conversation was becoming. _

_ “Christ Michael,  _ **_don’t you get it!_ ** _ ” Jeremy flew up off of the couch and wheeled to face Michael. “I like you, alright! More than I should! And I always knew it but I was too scared to fucking do anything about it and then when I was finally kind of ready to confront you about it because Rich fucking told me it was ok -” _

_ “You told Rich before me?” Michael didn’t even know why he was hurt. Of course Jeremy told Rich first, he wasn’t exactly fucking going to tell Michael now was he? _

_ “Not the point Mic! I was finally ready to get rejected because I couldn’t hold it in any longer but then Christine and Brooke got together and they were happy and how could I expect two happy endings because that isn’t my fucking life is it?” Jeremy ran his hands through his hair and looked like he was ready to collapse. _

_ He felt fucked up enough to. _

_ “I thought my mum and dad were happy, and then they divorced. I thought I was never going to be popular, and now I have friends but I’m still fucking insignificant. And I thought I maybe, maybe had a shot at a happy ending or whatever the fuck I’m supposed to call it, but now I know I can’t because  _ **_I’M NOT THAT LUCKY!_ ** _ ” _

 

* * *

 

**Lets get them DATING**

**Friday 3:37 pm**

 

**Drunkdrama :** ok im letting you guys in

 

**Drunkstalker :** no don't theyll notice

 

**Drunkdrama :** but brooke and chloe are wrestling over a one direction beanbag and chrissy is throwing popcorn at everyone and i must be saved 

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** honestly im imagining an orgy

 

**Drunkstalker :** ITS A GOOD THING YOURE IN THE CAR AND MY BOYFRIEND IS NEXT TO ME OR ID BE PUKING ON YOU

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** i really want to know whats going on up there

 

**Drunkhornyguy :** i bet theyre fucking

 

**Drunkstalker :** i know for a fact im dying

 

**Drunkdrama :** rich is your boyfriend judging us

 

**Drunkstalker :** i think hes just ordering the last restraining order give him a second

 

* * *

 

_ “What the fuck are you talking about Jeremy?” Michael fell onto the floor, kneeling beside Jeremy, who was really  _ **_really_ ** _ trying not to cry but slightly failing. _

_ “Of course you fucking deserve a happy ending.” Michael put his hand under Jeremy’s chin and raised him up so their eyes met. “Why am I the one being a therapist in this situation? When did I become the emotionally-stable one?” _

_ Jeremy gave a wet laugh. “You always were the player one.” _

_ Something about the way Jeremy said that gave Michael a confidence boost. Jeremy had always gone against Michale being the leader, always wanted to stand out more, to take control rather than fall back. But maybe Jeremy really just wanted somebody to tell him what to do. _

_ “Only because you let me.” Michael whispered, and then he tilted his head for the first time… _

_...The moment their lips met, Jeremy knew this wasn’t some crazy dream, because he could never dream up anything this tragically beautiful… _

_...The moment the kiss connected, Michael knew this was the answer he’d been looking for. _

 

* * *

 

**I totally hope theyre fucking dating now**

**Friday 9:45 pm**

 

**Drunkbitch :** that name is a fucking mood jenna

 

**Drunkparallelparker :** i just wanna get out of this basement

 

**Drunkstalker :** i bet theyve forgotten about us

 

**Drunkdrama :** because theyre both having panic attacks or because theyre making out?

  
**Drunkhornyguy :** ima be honest, i dont really know and i don't really give a shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww cute we stan. Ok, so, and I didn't realise this...
> 
> But holy shit this is the second last chapter. Yep. Next one's the last one y'all. 
> 
> So I'll do a proper thanks for reading thing then. But until next time (wow last time I get to say that)


	13. Level 4.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it. The final chapter.
> 
> It's been a long one, and I mean like this is the first long (and somehow popular) fic ive finished so can I get a hell yeah?
> 
> IMPORTANT! This chapter occurs 2 months after the last one, so there have (of course) been name changes. Here's a handy dandy guide:
> 
> \- Jeremy = MrMell  
> \- Michael = YeahImWithThatGuy  
> \- Christine = MyGirlfriendIsPopular  
> \- Brooke = BTECHRomeo  
> \- Chloe = VeryMuchSlutty  
> \- Jenna = TeaHasBeenSpilt  
> \- Jake = NeverAnswersMyTexts  
> \- Rich = CultLeader

**We Aren’t The Cool Kids**

**Saturday 7:30 am**

 

 **MyGirlfriendIsPopular :** hey jeremy do you like have a weird obsession with the band set it off

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** i was asleep but hey i guess NOBODY CARES IN THIS LIFE

 

 **TeaHasBeenSpilt :** are you on your period jake

 

 **BTECHRomeo :** this is not modern feminism

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** christine has literally infected you

 

 **VeryMuchSlutty :** its the infection of saying musical lyrics literally 24/7

 

 **CultLeader :** sounds deadly

 

 **MrMell :** i beg your pardon christine

 

 **MyGirlfriendIsPopular :** well i was looking back through our texts and you just keep quoting them

 

 **MrMell :** ThE QuEsTIOn Is If YoU LiStENEd TO ThEm AND LikED tHeM

 

 **CultLeader :** theyre actually kind of good

 

 **MyGirlfriendIsPopular :** meh

 

 **MrMell :** MEH! ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS MEH! THEY ARE GODS MESSENGERS ON EaRTH! THEYRE MUSIC IS LIKE LISTENING TO HEAVEN

 

 **TeaHasBeenSpilt :** isnt heaven meant to be harps and shit

 

**\- VeryMuchSlutty has renamed “TeaHasBeenSpilt” to “Harps &Shit” -**

 

 **Harps &Shit :** oh joy 

 

 **MyGirlfriendIsPopular :** i mean they sound _ok_ but theyre not like anything special

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** don't go there

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** jeremys been quiet for so long i think he exploded

 

 **-**   **MyGirlfriendIsPopular has renamed “MrMell” to “SetItOffAddict” -**

 

 **BTECHRomeo :** there are worse things to be

 

 **CultLeader :** its ok jeremy my cult can kill her

 

 **BTECHRomeo :** can i join the cult that sounds fun

 

**\- CultLeader has renamed “BTECHRomeo” to “MemberOfTheCultOfQueers” -**

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** my final form

 

 **MyGirlfriendIsPopular :** ok but wolf in sheeps clothing is baddd

 

 **CultLeader :** NOBODY ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION BEECH

 

 **Harps &Shit :** i think you mean bitch

 

 **CultLeader :** die in a triangle you hoe

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** YES LETS KILL THEM ALL

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** calm down psycho

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** chloe is admin right

 

 **VeryMuchSlutty :** yep

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** give me privileges 

 

 **VeryMuchSlutty :** erm ok

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** christine youre fucked

 

**\- SetItOffAddict has removed “MyGirlfriendIsPopular” from the chat -**

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** oof

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** punishment well deserved

 

 **Harps &Shit :** i feel like youre abusing your powers here

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** add my girlfriend back or ill set the cult on you

 

 **CultLeader :** well jeremys a member of the cult too

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** its more meaningful if we sacrifice a _member_ to satan

 

**\- VeryMuchSlutty has added “MyGirlfriendIsPopular” to the chat -**

 

**\- YeahImWithThatGuy has renamed “MyGirlfriendIsPopular” to “HasNoOpinions” -**

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** friendly advice

 

 **HasNoOpinions :** jeremy you suck

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** what do you wanna receive for fucking it up all the time?

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** *silence falls*

 

 **CultLeader :** A fUCKing STAtUE

 

**\- CultLeader has renamed “HasNoOpinions” to “WheresMyFuckingStatue” -**

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** i shall build it from jeremys bones

 

 **VeryMuchSlutty :** and i am removing admin privileges from all of you

 

**\- “YeahImWithThatGuy” has renamed “VeryMuchSlutty” to “Overlord” -**

 

 **CultLeader :** this is a dictatorship

 

 **Harps &Shit :** this isnt north korea

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** fuck i choked on an oreo

 

 **WheresMyFuckingStatue :** you have oreos and you DIDNT INVITE ME

 

_Photo.jpeg.Imcomingforyoumichaelmell_

 

 **YeahImWithThatGuy :** well im emigrating to brazil 

 

****\- Overlord has renamed “YeahImWithThatGuy” to “BraveSirRobinRanAway” -** **

 

 

 **WheresMyFuckingStatue :** oh my

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** oh sweet heaven be praised

 

 **CultLeader :** SHE MADE A MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE

 

 **BraveSirRobinRanAway :** CHLOE YOURE A NERD

 

 **Overlord :** only for monty python

 

****\- Harps &Shit has renamed “Overlord” to “UndercoverNerd” -** **

 

 

 **CultLeader :** the greatest secret mission of our time

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** *cue the mission impossible music*

 

 **Harps &Shit :** wait whats monty python

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** oh my god you silenced everyone

 

 **Harps &Shit :** no seriously

 

 **NeverAnswersMyTexts :** fuck jenna even ive seen it

 

 **UndercoverNerd :** i made him

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** you deserve a medal

 

 **BraveSirRobinRanAway :** everyone get round mine this instant to watch it

 

_Photo.jpeg.literallyhaveitpaused_

 

 **BraveSirRobinRanAway :** HOLY SHIT

 

 **CultLeader :** erm are you ok

 

_Photo.jpeg.CHRISTINEISOUTSIDEMYHOUSE_

 

 **MemberOfTheCultOfQueers :** ok im coming to protect you

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** jesus christ are they oreos from god or something

 

 **Harps &Shit :** i like that we are now the only two left online

 

 **SetItOffAddict :** where did they even go

 

 **Harps &Shit :** to michael duh

 

 **Harps &Shit :** which is now where youve gone i assume

 

 **Harps &Shit :** here i am just talking to myself

 

 **Harps &Shit :** OK FINE IM COMING

 

 **BraveSirRobinRanAway :** good child

 

 **Harps &Shit :** thats christine on michaels phone isnt it

 

 **BraveSirRobinRanAway :** why yes. yes it is.

 

**\- Chat log ended, 8:15 am -**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's over. Seriously, y'all should write chat fics. Lazy writers heaven.
> 
> As a fic that started from a random thread in my brain and going through every single chapter never had a draft so it was ALL improv, this somehow has over a thousand hits. I mean, what then fuck? How!?
> 
> So, thank you all so so so so so SO much for reading, enjoying, commenting, kudos-ing and etc this fic. It means so much to me.
> 
> If you want to see more of yours truly, then you can check out my Heathers fics if thats your jam (My 11th High School, Red The Blood Of Angry Men) or you can go read something better. Or live a life, which I do not have but hey they're overrated anyway.
> 
> See you round  
> Mae x


End file.
